U-571 - JUMP
Unbreakable - JUMP
Van Wilder - JUMP
Vertical Limit - JUMP
The Virgin Suicides - JUMP
What Women Want - JUMP
Where the Money Is - JUMP
Whole Nine
Yards
- JUMP Wonder Boys - JUMP X-Men - JUMP
Directed by Jonathan Mostow
starring Matthew McConaughey, Harvey Keitel, Jon Bon Jovi
Who
knew you could really get that wet in a sardine can under the water?
-
On IMDb
-
Official Site
Ok. So have already had a
couple of arguments about the rating i have given this movie. My
friend thinks that it deserves higher. But i am having trouble
getting to a point where i can give it a higher rating that it has.
Why...you might ask why.
This movie is about a group of Americans
who go in a sub to the mid-Atlantic to board a German sub and try to
retrieve the enigma machine from it without the Germans finding
out. It is set, of course in WW II.
You may have
read some of the stuff about the historical inaccuracies of this
film. There are lots of them...almost everything about it,
except for the technical details...which seemed pretty good to me with
my limited knowledge of submarines. I thought i might have an
issue with this...but in the end that is the way that Hollywood works.
if you didn't fill the movie up with Americans then the Americans
would not watch it. i don't have an issue with that. The
intelligent viewer will understand that and take it into
account.
In the end...i guess it was a good movie about
submarine stuff. If you like that kind of movie you will like
this movie. Some of the effects were very well done...some of
them were were a little fake, but what can you do, when was the last
time you saw a destroyer sunk?
Why do i give it a half-tepid
then? Because i expect more from a movie to get a higher points.
I expect to learn something. Even in the simple movies with no moral
notions i expect to learn something about people. I didn't
really get that here. It was fun, and if you like action
adventure movies...go and see it. It will likely not disappoint.
Directed by M. Night
Shyamalan
starring Bruce Willis, Samual L Jackson, Robin Wright.
Are you Unbreakable? How about the power of this tagline?
On IMDb
Official Site
This movie was
a tough one, not because of what i felt like when i watched it but
rather because of the conversations i had after it. You see, i
know absolutely what i felt as i watched it and as i walked from the
theatre, but i had some conversations with friends after i had seen
it. This movie seemed to have that dubious distinction of a
love/hate relationship with its viewers. You either did one or
the other. I freely admit here and now that i really liked this
movie. This surprised me. The months of that teasing
trailer that they kept cryptically showing me only served to rise my
ire rather than my curiosity. I didn't find anything in it to
suggest that i would like the film. I remember doubting aloud
that it could possibly be worth it.
But in the end it was good. I quite enjoyed
it. The reason? Well, for one i found the story
fascinating and well thought out. Enjoyable and quite fresh and
novel. The acting was perhaps a little over the top but as with
any movie that has at its heart a discussion of comic books it really
had to be when you think about it. Everyone in a comic book is
always over the top, it is part of the comic book thing. I
found that this was fitting and belonged. You couldn't be as sad
as Bruce Willis' character without this being
necessary.
This is a difficult movie
to talk very much about without giving a lot away. And that is
just something that i don't want to do, i don't want to give it away because
it was it's mystery that really did do a lot to make me love it.
You just didn't' know that much about it as it went along and it was
so far from predictable that you had to love it more as it went
along.
So what will it take for you to love
this movie? I am not completely sure, i would say a love of
comic books but some of my friends that do didn't like it. So
what i am going to say is that if you have the ability for a massive
suspension of disbelief then you will probably really enjoy it.
I have given this movie a limpid
Directed by Walt Becker
starring Ryan Reynolds, Tara Reid
Shouldn't National Lampoons give up 'round about now?
On IMDb
Official Site
Check your sense of humour at the door. Check your brain in the
umbrella stand. Take a dumb down, funny up pill and prepare for a
monumental waste of your time. Then again i suppose it is
possible that you like that sort of thing. Possibly.
If so, there is no need for you to tell me, as i would rather not lose
any respect that i currently have for you.
Perhaps there was a time when i liked this sort of thing. I mean,
i remember liking Animal House the first time i saw it. As i
watched this movie i couldn't really tell you what about it was was
better or worse than Animal House. I mean it was all about a charming,
funny male lead trying as hard as he could to be popular and get laid
while proving that he does at heart have a core of true gold.
Blah, blah blah. It was crap. It wasn't funny, it was dumb.
But you know what, they did do a few things that fit the formula enough
to make me not despise this film. First they never tried to convince me
that this was going to be a good film. Second they picked two
stars with very endearing, charming personalities and smiles. It
made it easy to watch even as i was filled with horror as to how bad it
was.
I don't know what you tell you about
this juvenile, potty humoured movie. No, strike that, i do know,
it's not good, it's bad. it's not even a good specimen of the
genre. Stay home, watch reality TV instead. I have given
this film a vapid.
Directed by Martin Campbell
starring Chris O'Donnel, Bill Paxton, Robin Tunney
I bet you can't even begin to guess how bad this is.
On IMDb
Official Site
Crap, crap,
crap. This movie is sitting at the bottom of a shaft of crap
looking up, wishing it could climb up the heap. That's my
positive spin on this movie, how's it sound to you? I don't
think any one part of this film is worth seeing. I know, i know
there are those of you out there that might think that they scenery
might be worth it, but you know other than a few seconds here and
there the scenery for the most part is mobile. That's right, it
is sliding down the mountain again and again. For there are more
avalanches in this film than there are people. And if the snow
isn't sliding on its own accord they are blowing it down the
mountain.
Please, please, just for me,
explain the intelligence of this. You have some people trapped
in a cave. They are trapped in a cave because the snow on the
mountainside decided it was going to slide down the side of it.
On a whim. I know, you know, we all know about the danger of
talking on mountain sides because the sound might make the snow
go. It's not like we didn't all watch looney tunes as kids
right? Well this snow didn't even need that much. So then
they come up with the idea of using an unstable explosive to blow a
hole into the cave. Think about this for a second, sound, snow,
unstable....could we be looking for yet another avalanche?
Maybe i missed it, maybe the entire point of the endless mishaps and
other avalanches happening here were to get every damned flake of snow
to fall off of K2 before they got around to blowing a hole in it,
finally? And by finally i do mean that this goes on and on and
on.
And how about that exploding shoe? No,
i can't bring myself to talk about the exploding shoe. It's just
too dumb. Sigh, but they meant it seriously. You
know a problem with a lot of adventure movies that fail is the way
that they are too predictable. Well if you were predicting this movie
you should send me an email, i would like to chat with you.
Cause this movie was written by fools and each progressive turn of it
is stupider and stupider. Every single bit of it stank so much
that only a clairvoyant could possibly predict the idiotic depths the
next steps could take it to.
In the end i am sort
of glad that we saw it. Because it was the perfect show to be
watched on a bad movie Friday. An institution that
is worth it for the fun and the joy that can be gained in watching a
bad movie. For you see, by seeing it, i have been able to
declare that there are even limits to what can be seen as the worst of
times on a Friday. Still, it was better than Battlefield
Earth, so i have given it a half-vapid
Directed by Sofia Coppola
starring Kirsten Dunst, James Woods.
What did you do the summer that you were 16? Not this i would
expect.
-
On IMDb
-
Official Site
Bummer. That is the
best think i can think of to say about this movie. It was
something specifically designed to bring you down i think. That
is ok by me, i don't mind being down. And this movie did a good
job. Ever think your parents were too strict? Ever think
that you should have done something to them to make them feel better
about it? Well, this may make you reconsider all those thoughts.
It really might.
Then again, maybe not. This movie is
literally about a man and a wife and their five daughters and how they
relate to suicide. It is an eerie movie that is rather well
done. I walked in not knowing what to expect and i walked out
not being sure what i was that i had just experienced. Even now,
a couple of weeks later i don't really know what the movie was
trying to say to me? Don't overprotect your daughters?
Well surely that was there but i doubt that was the real intent of the
movie. But the thing is, i don't care, i don't need to know what
he specific message of this movie is because, after all, i sometimes
am just in the mood to feel a story about people. This movie did
that.
I don't think this movie would be for everyone, after all it
is rather disturbing and tough to watch. but that doesn't matter
that much, it is good. However, don't take a new date, don't
take a child and don't take your teenage daughter. I give this
movie a limpid.
Directed by Nancy Meyers
starring Mel Gibson, Helen Hunt
Yeah, this movie encapsulates the entirety of what women want.
All of it. Yup. Surely.
On IMDb
Official Site
Ok, tip number
one, don't expect to learn too much about women unless you really
didn't know anything about them before. In which case i would
say that you are likely not going to be able learn anything from a
movie in the first place. That said this movie is pretty
cute. And funny. And silly, and one big piece of
fluff. How's that for mixed messages. On the weight of what i
just said can you decide anything? I thought not.
The premise is flimsy, but of course you have to expect that in a
movie where a man who is filled with macho is going to explore the
land of women and their inner psyche I mean unless you're Arnold and
willing to wear a pillow for the entire movie. Oh don't get me
wrong, Mel did a great job in this thing. Who knew that he could
do so well at psychic comedy, or romantic comedy, or whatever you are
going to call this. And who knew that Helen Hunt the gorgeous
woman of a dream or two of mine would ever manage to look so old that
caked on make up would make her seem like she was
overcompensating. I don't remember her performance much but she
was there, i can remember at least that much.
I
walked out of this film thinking that i had enjoyed it, i laughed a
great amount. I fell in love with one of the subplots, the
suicidal assistant was just great. So...i guess what i have to say is
that if you want good cheer injected into your cheeks, give this one a
go. I have given it a tepid
.
Directed by Marek Kanievska
starring Paul Newman, Linda Fiorentino
Paul Newman as you always imagined him, only moving.
-
On IMDb
-
Official Site
I had not heard
about this movie when a friend of mine suggested that we go to
it. He said they had advertised all over the place.
Perhaps for a little while i was living in a coffin or
something. Who knows. But then he said that Paul Newman
was in it, and it wasn't about grumpy old men, so i decided to
go. After all, (oh sure, now i see an ad for it, while i
write the review) Friday is the time when i generally go to a movie
after work that is not necessarily going to be good, just one that
might amuse me to see for one reason or another.
Does it make
me shallow that the first thing i have to say about that movies is
that i don't care what happens to me, i don't care where i am, or what
i am doing, i want my nurse to wear skirts that short. Linda
Fiorentino wore the shortest nurse's outfit i have ever seen.
But i guess that has little to do with how good the movie was.
It just made an impression on my mind.
So it was
good. Not amazing, but i laughed, and enjoyed it. No one
did a really good job, but no one did a bad job. One thing that
works well in this movie, we are aware that Linda is questioning why
she is still with her husband, and we really, or at least i really
couldn't say if she should or not. The indecision and reasons
for it really came across.
Most interesting moment may
very well have been when Paul says the word tantric and it is not with
disdain or included in the statement like 'that tantric shit.'
This was just surreal coming from him.
In the end, the plot
and characters might have seemed just the slightest bit contrived but
i did enjoy the movie. I give it a tepid.
Directed by John Lynn
starring Bruce Willis, Matthew Perry, Rosanna Arquette, Natasha
Henstridge
Convoluted Comedic hit Man Farce
-
On IMDb
-
Official Site
What, am i a fool? I go to this
movie at all? How could you expect it to be good after you see
the cast and the previews? How would this be possible?
And granted it was not good. But it was more than
acceptable. I was expecting a puerile comedy that would not
entertain anyone with a normal level of intelligence or above.
So first off, i have to admit, i really like Bruce Willis, i don't
know why. He has certainly done some bad movies, but something
about him, i like. So i was actually likely to go see it
anyways. But then my movie buddy heard that it was good, that
people who liked Something About Mary would like this. So we
decided to go and see it.
Basically this is a Three's Company type, confusion reigning, how
do we get to the end with all this bumbling type of movie.
Matthew Perry plays a nice guy dentist who gets involved with a man
who moves in next to him who turns out to be a Hit Man through the
machinations of his wife who wants him dead. And then a big hullabaloo
happens. You don't really need more than that. If you read that
and think, 'ick,' then you should not go.
But, and however, it was well done for that type of comedy.
The actors play their roles well (Amanda Peet was extremely lovable in
my book, even before she got undressed), the plot, though almost
insufferably convoluted, is fitting somehow, of this movie. The
movie is shot in Montreal and it has some great shots of the city,
made me wistful to return there.
In the end, if you can imagine your brain being dead enough to
enjoy it. It will. I laughed, i smiled, i was amused. Good
enough to get a tepid.
Directed by Curtis Hanson
starring Michael Douglas, Tobey Maguire, Frances McDormand,
Robert Downey Jr.
a number of steps into the Surreal.
On IMDb
Official Site
So i have read a couple of
reviews of this movie that have not been all that nice. (I have read
more that have been good) I can't help but wonder whether they
actually saw this movie or not. For you see...this is a good
movie. I guess we have seen Michael Douglas in a few comedies
where he has done a good job in the past. He can do funny, not
often, but he can.
But in this movie there is the most surreal wit and humour.
Michael plays the consummate college professor who does not relate to
the real world well. But this movie makes us understand that this is
not always the best skill to have. For everything that happens
to his character is of the most surreal nature. And yet he keeps
dealing and coping with these things as they come upon
him.
I laughed a lot during this film. The entire audience laughed
at this film. No cheap humour. Entirely too sophisticated to be
mocked.
Ok, ok. I have said many nice things. Something nasty. Tobey
Maguire, did a really good job in this movie. Tobey Maguire
always does an excellent job. Problem is, he always has this
spaced out, something deeper down inside look on his face. Always
the same look. No matter what the part is. I guess it is
just the way that his personality is, the way his face is. But he
plays different characters, different feelings, same expression. How
can he portray depth and yet not have any difference?
Directed by Bryan Singer
starring Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellan
They finally do a comic book to screen transition right. They
being Marvel.
On IMDb
Official Site
In my opinion
this is the first time that Marvel has been able to transit a comic
book to the big screen and have it be a success and a good
movie. Two things that aren't always necessarily true. DC
has done it, of course, with Superman and Batman but
Marvel has never had that success. They have done it here.
X-men is a very enjoyable film. Filled with characters that fit
those from the comics for the most part, plot that falls in line with
stories and events of the comics and special effects that make it fun.
Basically this film is our introduction as movie viewers to the
universe where humans and mutants live together. We go in
knowing the basic struggle already so it is not that big of a
shock. Normal humans are afraid of mutants and try to subsume
some of their rights, the EVIL mutants don't like this and want
to take over the world so that they are in control. The GOOD mutants,
or the disciples of Professor Xavier think that mutants and humans can
live together in peace and fight to thwart the efforts of the evil
mutants. In this episode of the many X-men movies to come we get
to meet our favourite and biggest X-men characters as they thwart
Magneto for the first time.
So, probably
the thing i was impressed with most in this film was the characters,
such as Wolverine that were so full and real that they weren't the 2
dimensional characters that you find coming from Comics. Where
you are seemingly supposed to have gotten to know them in print before
you come to the screen first. The story wasn't enthralling but
it was certainly passable. The effects were mighty cool and you
really did need effects, what with all the super powers around.
I enjoyed this movie very much and gave it a half-limpid.
Unless the very idea of a movie about mutants with
super powers just turns you off go to see this one, because you will
enjoy it. i promise.
