Movies A - B

Movie Couch C - F G - M N - R S - T U - Z Most Recent Review


Movie Ratings
5 turgid    
4 limpid
3 tepid
2 vapid
1 fetid

 

The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle - JUMP
All About My Mother -
JUMP
Along Came a Spider - JUMP
American Psycho - JUMP
Amelie - JUMP
America's Sweethearts - JUMP
The Anniversary Party - JUMP
Afterlife - JUMP
A.I. - JUMP
Art of War - JUMP
Autumn in New York -
JUMP
Battlefield Earth - JUMP
The Big Kahuna - JUMP
Big Trouble - JUMP
Bless the Child - JUMP
Boiler Room
-JUMP
Boys and Girls - JUMP     
Boys Don't Cry - JUMP

 

 

The Adventures of 
Rocky and Bullwinkle
half-vapid
                 Directed by  Des McAnuff 
                     starring Piper Parabo, Jason Alexander, Robert De Niro
                 To quote a friend, it's a movie where the squirrel flies to Supertramp.
  
 
On IMDb

 

 

  
 Official Site

  Crap crap crap.  This movie is crap crap crap.  I laughed, i did. I did laugh, i am sorry, a vapid sort of laugh, a pointless sort of laugh.  You know where you look and watch and you laugh, but you don't think about it, your brain doesn't enter into it. So you are left kind of unsatisfied after it all.  Even during the movie, even during the next laugh.  You have so much time to think and do other things that you can actually be deciding that you don't feel good about laughing at the last joke, even as you are laughing at the next one.

   Basic premise...boris and natasha escape from cartoon land and take over normal TV and then are aiming at the world.  Cute and somehow illegally sexy, Piper Parabo, FBI agent invisiblaire bring Rocky and Bullwinkle out to save the day.

   If anything only two things save this movie from utter disaster and a fetid rating. One is the cartoon start that indicates what has happened to our cartoon friends since they were cancelled.  That was funny.  Second was the huge number of cameos, you could never be certain where the next famous face was going to come from.

   In the end though, waste of my time, as could be seen by the movie theatre with myself, my buddy and one other person who was not there for the whole film.  I have given it a half-vapid.

 

top


 

Afterlife 
(Wandafuru raifu)
half-turgid
                 Directed by  Hirokazu Koreeda 
                     starring Arata, Erika Oda, Susumu Terajima
                 Civil Servants never do get to rest do they?  
 
On IMDb

 

 

  
 not the
Official Site

   This Japanese movie was exceptional in almost every way.  It made you sit there and all you could do is think. I mean it really is all about afterlife, with a definite twist.  The premise revolved around the fact that every person who dies is to spend eternity lost in the best memory from their lives.  There are a number of facilities that people go to after death where they have to decide what their memory is and then they are presented with it.

   Our characters in this film are, for the most part, the people who work at this facility but we also get to know the group of people that are there to make their decision on the memory.  I must say that the writing in this film is masterful, i mean the choice of the people coming to choose is just genius.  i certainly couldn't have done as good a job.  And the staff are also fascinating.  This movie is just a joy to see.  

   I wish i could speak japanese so i could tell how good the acting really is, because it really does seem quite exemplary.  Everyone who can stomache subtitles should see this.  It is a brain exercise because if you don't end up thinking yourself into oblivion during and after this movie, then you are a freak.  Embrace your freakness if you like.

   This movie floored me.  It is incredibly well done and an wonderful idea. I have given it a half-turgid.

 

top

All about my Mother limpid
                 Directed by Almodovar
                     starring  Cecilia Roth, Marisa Paredes.
                 Spanish Language.

  

On IMDb

 

 

  -
 Official Site

   A sad and moving tale that follows a women from the death of her son to her own personal rebirth.  Oddly it is not a sappy and miserable film, even though it is filled with the mother's pain (no matter what the woman behind us who could not stop bawling all the way through it thought).  Instead it is an enjoyable tale demonstrating to the viewer what can be done when one tries to get on with life instead of moping.  Dealing with the difficulties associated with life instead of sweeping them under the carpet.

  Very enjoyable, i would recommend seeing.  If you don't like subtitles, you will be so enthralled within minutes that you won't even notice.  (At least until you see the movie All About Eve start on a TV screen with the title encompassing the entire movie screen and they translate it to be Eve's Embellishments.)  

Go see it. You will leave the theatre not knowing if you should be sad or happy that you live life in a world where things can go wrong and yet life goes on.   As such i rate it as a resounding limpid.

top

 

 

Along Came a Spider half-limpid
                 Directed by   Lee Tamahori
                     starring Morgan Freeman, Monica Potter

                 It does get harder when the criminals are very smart.  
 
On IMDb

 

 

  
Official Site

   I didn't know what to think about this movie.  I mean, i saw the trailers and pretty much thought that it was going to be old hack, that there was going to be one cliche after another and that i wasn't going to like it very much.   In fact i was thinking that i probably wasn't going to see it after all.  Then the other night i was going out to a movie with my dad.  Dad and i have a tradition, we only go and see movies that are violent and kind of dumb.  I don't know exactly why this tradition started, he watches other movies that that type and i certainly do as well, but it exists.  So this movie was the only one of this time and he and i went to see it. 
   It was a lot better than i had ever believed it could be.  It wasn't perfect, but it was good.  Premise....a genius and yet unstable criminal kidnaps a child of an important politician.  The characters in this movie were quite well done, not plastic and done before, believable and new.  Morgan Freeman, of course, was reprising his character of Alex Cross, police psychological profiler, from Kiss the Girls.  I think that his character is one so intense you could only find it in the movies but we were watching a movie after all.  
   My interest was kept through the entire movie.  To the point where i didn't even get annoyed by the things that were, shall we call them, plot coincidences.  And trust me there were a lot of these plot coincidences.  Perhaps even too many.

   Their surprise ending, well, it wasn't really all that much of a surprise either.  I don't know why, maybe i am just a good movie goer i just had a very good idea that what was going to happen did happen.   But, it was still an important part of the story.  In the end i give this movie a half-limpid because it was a movie that surprised me with how much i enjoyed it. 

top

 

Amelie turgid
                 Directed by    Jean-Pierre Jeunet
                     starring Audrey Tautot, Mathieu Kassovit, Rufus

                 The Whimsy and Wonder of this left me in love and craving more. . 
 
On IMDb

 

 

  
Official Site

  

 Ok, so i have a new favourite movie.  A wonderful, wondrous, magnificent movie.  I should, right now, be writing a review about this move but i don't think i could do it justice, so i am just going to ramble on about it for a little while here.

   This movie, called Amelie, was like it was made with me specifically in mind.  It had everything that i consider good and grand and special about life, people, basically everything.

   It's french.  I am not too surprised by this, nor should you be, having heard the title.

   First, we have to say that i am in love with the main character.  As full as blown a movie crush as i have ever had.  Her name was, of course, Amelie.  She was, well, if you ever want to find my idea of the physically perfect woman, you could find her in this person.  Ok, that might not be true, she might have been a little thinner than i would like but her face, oh, my, her face.
    Serene, soft, delightful, a smile that, well, that makes me wonder if maybe i am living a sham of a life because i am not living with that.

   She was a dreamer, a romantic, a flake, a loner, an imaginer, coquettish, warm hearted, with a misfitious side.  She lived the life that i might want to, if i were a bigger, better dreamer. 
   Somewhere in there was an actress, named, Audrey Tautou.  I guess, i'd rather not think about that right now, i am busy dealing with this monster crush.  You might get from that that she was a good actress. And, i can't argue with this, i never once thought of her as anything but the character that she was playing.

   This movie, in its original title, is called, Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain, or as best as my french can translate, The amazing destiny of Amelie Poulain.  And this is just what this movie was all about.  It starts with her birth and works towards her end.  Ok, that's not true, the end is not her end.  The end of her solitude.  

  Another thing that makes me love this film is the whimsy with which it proceeds.  It has been put together in one of the most fascinating, non-sequitur-including methods i have ever seen.  From jumps of information about the littlest amusing tidbits to the theft of a beloved gnome. The direction, masterful.  The settings beautiful.  My lord did it make me want to go back and spend a springtime in Paris.

   Sigh.  Can anyone get a message to her? I'd like to take her for a walk on a bridge.  I'd skip stones until dawn. 
 

This was not a normal review, it was, more, of a litany of praise, are you surprised that i have given this move a  turgid?

top

 

 

 

  

American Psycho limpid
                 Directed by Mary Harron
                     starring  Christian Bale, Willem Dafoe, Chloë Sevigny
                 The all American movie?  The American hero of the future?  Or just a massive brain fuck?
                
  

On IMDb

 

 

  -
 Official Site

This movie disturbed me.  But not because of the reasons that you might think. I can totally see how this movie would disturb a lot of our viewing public, it is after all about a man who slaughters the innocent and the stupid alike because he can not control his urges.  But it disturbed me because i have yet to figure out what i think about it.

It was a good movie, i guess.  See, there you go, i can't figure out what i think.  I guess....

It was well done. I don't for a second thing that Christian Bale could have done a better job, he was a rather amazing psycho.  The cinematography, the production, the scenes...top notch.  I truly enjoyed these.  The attention to detail was great.

The diatribes on music were amazing.  Well done and written like a star.  So glad. The business cards, a masterpiece.

But, and this is the big but...i am not sure what statement this was trying to make.  There are the obvious ones, but i am not sure they were trying to make the obvious ones.  And if it was...then i don't think it was conveyed correctly.  It was muddied, it was swirled.  It just was not there.  I walked out of the movie wondering why.  Why was it done.

In the end, the amount my mind has thought about this movie, more than any other i can remember, makes it worth it.  know what i mean? so much internal strife and stress.  I have given it a limpid and it deserves it.  Go see it and tell me what you think.   

top

 

 

America's Sweethearts half-limpid
                 Directed by    Joe Roth
                     starring John Cusack, Billy Crystal, Julia Roberts, Catherine Zeta-Jones

                 If this were your life you would still be wondering why you didn't just have the butter. 
 
On IMDb

 

 

  
Official Site

   Is this movie a work of art?  Not by a long shot.  Is this movie a story that will set you back in your seat and make you wonder at the wherefores of the universe?  Not even remotely.  Do any of the characters make you care, in the least little bit what happens to them?  Not unless you are significantly differently built than i am.  And yet i have given it a half-limpid.  You might ask why. 

   Simply put, because it is enjoyable, it made me laugh, it made me smile, it drew me in and kept me there and it did make me like some of the characters.  The actors did a surprisingly good job with what they had been given.  I will admit right off that i am a sucker for Cusack, he can no wrong (no need to mention con air is there?), but in this movie, in a movie that he could have sucked in and no one would have blamed him one bit, he stood out.  I have heard bad things about Crystal as well but he also stood out for me.  Hell, i will even begrudge that Ms. Roberts did a better than halfast job.  Put all this together with a simple but cute script and you provide a movie that can do nothing but make you smile and walk from the theatre in a better mood than you walked in. 

   The story itself is simple, through a series of masterfully idiotic movies, Cusack and Zeta-Jones have proven to be the favoured couple both off and on the screen in america.  They are the title couple.  But then Zeta-Jones finds Hector and leaves Cusack to a rather nasty and somewhat violent breakdown.  Both of their careers founder and it is the press junket for the last movie that they had made together that brings them back into each others arms, or at least proximity.  Throw into the soup one sister/love-interest that had recently become attractive without to match the within and you have defined the story.  Or most of it.  

   This movie does hold some interesting twists, or rather at least some amusing ones and Christopher Walken pulls an almost cameo role into stealing the film.  Worth watching if you are in a cute mood.  I have given this film a half-limpid.

top

 

The Anniversary Party half-turgid
                 Directed by  Jennifer Jason Leigh and Alan Cumming
                     starring Jennifer Jason Leigh, Alan Cumming and Gwyneth Paltrow

                 If they can always make a movie this good in their backyard, i think they should keep doing it.  
 
On IMDb

 

 

  
Official Site

   I don't think there is anything about this movie that i did not love.  This is in and of itself relatively amazing, it is not very common for me to fall so much in love with a movie, but that this can said for a movie that was made in the fashion that this one was says something even more grand.   This movie was the brain child of Alan Cumming and Jennifer Jason Leigh, who upon one of the weekends that they were wont to spend together just hanging out decided that they wanted to make a movie with all of their friends.  They thought it would be a lot of fun. 

   And this is what they did, they hung out some more, over some more weekends, during which they wrote a script.  And what a script it is.   From this step they moved to engaging a group of their friends in making the movie with them.   This step has produced an ensemble cast of Hollywood personalities the like of which you do not often see.  Every one of these people has seemed particularly interesting to me as a human being at one time or another.  The next step was to use digital film so that the entire thing could be shot in close to real time with a moderate amount of ad lib involved.  What you end up with is a movie that has more control by the director/writer team than most can normally dream of and yet has the varied input from a friendly, creative, dedicated team.  The results are just astounding.

   Basically this is a simulated real time movie that takes place over the course of an evening (compressed a bit yes).  It encompassed the day of an anniversary party of a couple that has recently rejoined after having split up.  They are not your normal couple, one being a writer and the other a famous, if not so much anymore, actress.  This makes their problems a little more, refined, than the ones that your neighbours might have but this makes them no less real. 

   The dialogue in this movie is superb, somehow managing to take a script and the adlibbing that they allowed to grow into a smooth flowing vision of reality.  A reality we many never get the joy of living through ourselves, granted, but a reality none the less.  The set is marvellous, a completely believable house that they fit perfectly into every shot.  The direction and cinematography, beautiful.  I couldn't tell that they used a new and different type of camera from any than i have seen before. 

   Put, in short, this movie was a work of art.  It made me feel, it made me happy and sad.  I laughed a lot and got sad when it wanted me to.  Not many movies do this in the way that they intend and i think that this one hit the nail on the head.   Again, i truly loved this movie, i have given it a half-turgid  .

top

 

 

A.I. tepid
                 Directed by    Steven Spielberg
                     starring Haley Joel Osment, Jude Law

                 Could the future be this endlessly morose? 
 
On IMDb

 

 

  
Official Site

      I had great expectations for this movie.  I truly did.  I am a lover of science fiction and think that Brian Aldiss story that this was based upon was really quite well done.  I think that the questions that we should think about with regards to the future development of AI and living robots are really quite interesting and bear much thought and discussion.  When i heard that Kubrick was making a movie like this, i had grand hopes and dreams for what it could be.  When i heard that Spielberg was taking over i didn't think much of it either positive or negative, i just kept looking forward to the film. 

   And what happened with this grand project and dream?   Well, Spielberg managed to take what i was hoping would be a great sci-fi think piece and turn it into a sentimental piece of twaddle.  Where the questions that you might have been thinking about are answered in a surreal and sometimes downright unreal manner and that poses far more about itself than you really want to have to consider when you are watching a movie.  Does he really think that you can replace the solid foundation of thoughts and story with just feeling?  

    I found this film to be a true disappointment, failing me on so many levels.  I think that if i hadn't had such grand hopes for it that i likely wouldn't' have given it such a low rating but as it is, it deserves no higher from me. This movie missed so many marks that i don't know if i know, any longer what it's true point was. Badly done, just badly done all around. 

   All the negatives aside there were some things that weren't bad about this movie.  Haley Joel Osment did his normal bang up job.  Although, i think that if he doesn't try on some new roles soon that his patented lip curling sneer when he is doing a heavy emotional moment is going to truly begin to irritate me.  Jude Law was practically amazing.  He walked into a robot sex toy role and truly made it believable.  Watching him was a true pleasure.  And the bear, wow, i loved the bear, every second it was on screen.  The production values and effects were without peer, as you would expect from a Spielberg film. 

   In short, go see this film, if you have to but expect to be disappointed and expect to have your emotions blatantly manipulated five ways from Sunday.  And if at any point you think, this should be over now, it will just get worse if they keep going, leave.  I mean it, this movie is at least a half hour too long and it continuously gets worse as it moves forward through what i like to call the post-should-have-been-real-ending-time.  I have given it a tepid.

top

 

 

The Art of War tepid
                 Directed by  Christian Duguay  
                     starring Wesley Snipes, Donald Sutherland, Anne Archer
                 The UN with a secret service?  Interesting, yet scary, notion.
 
On IMDb

 

 

  
Official Site

   Wesley Snipes saves the day. Sort of. At least i think this is what you are supposed to think at the end of the movie if you are set on seeing things in Black and White.  This is one of the things that i liked about this movie.  There wasn't a good guy, no where could you find the good guys.  I mean the Canadians and the UN did appear to be doing things for the best motives possible but they certainly weren't all that altruistic in the end.

   I have heard complaints that the story in this movie was a little too complex.  As an intelligent movie watcher, i don't buy this at all.  I think that it was nice and clean and filled with twists and intrigue.  I think that it had many things that were unique and not hit upon in the past in this way.  If this movie was trying to follow a formula, it wrote it just for itself.  I was impressed by this.  I guess the speed and variety of the flashbacks might be tough to follow, if you don't really pay attention, but this is your warning, the flashbacks are important to the story.  There you go. 

   So there was a flaw though, even though this movie well written and well made (with maybe just a smidgen too much reliance on special effects) and even as well acted as our man Snipes is capable, the story and characters didn't seem to be engaging enough.  I wasn't drawn in, i wasn't made to care about them.  To me this is an important part of any story, if i don't care about those who the story is about, how much of a story is it?

   As it is i have given this movie a tepidIf you like action, intrigue and suspense films i think you are likely to enjoy it, unless you don't get the difficult ones but i don't expect it to convert this boundary to make those who don't like action films like it. 

  

top

 

 

Autumn in New York tepid
                 Directed by  Joan Chen 
                     starring Winona Ryder, Richard Gere
                 Old and new again, romance done comfortable through discomfort.
 
On IMDb

 

 

  
Official Site

   When people around me talked about this film before i or they had seen it, the thing i heard the most was about how disgusting it was to have yet another movie about the old man of Hollywood having another romance with a young girl.  As if this was the norm, as if it wasn't gross or disgusting.  Now, even the fact that such things do really occur and that there may even be love as a part of them, this movie had nothing to do with that.   For this movie was all about an older man having a romance with a younger woman.  'Huh,' you may have just said, followed by, 'didn't he just say that?'  But that's not what i mean, rather than just asking us to accept that such could, would and will happen in a normal world we are shown that it is unusual and that it is something that will have to be worked around.

   For there are only two major issues in this movie, that he is a 50 year old womanizer starting a relationship with a 24 year old woman and that this is not normal and that she is about to die of some obscure heart thing.  The rest of it is about what a romance between such people would be like, and why it would be like that.  And that said, it was not poorly done.  I mean, as you would expect, Winona Ryder does a good job, playing the innocent waif with a bit of independence and attitude and Richard Gere certainly knows what he is doing in the older man womanizer role.  I think that the writing is a little week, and dialogue shows this.  They only have so much to work with, but they do well with what they find.  

   I'm sorry, did i just say i liked this film?  Yeah, i guess i did. I sat and i enjoyed it. It didn't make me think, it didn't make me all romantic and wispy, but i smiled a couple of times and i felt my soft spot go, 'awww' once or twice.  So that must mean it wasn't all that bad.  

   So i have given this movie a tepidI think that if you like romances or Winona Ryder, you will likely enjoy this enough to make it worth seeing, otherwise, if you like it rough and tumble or sexy, just stay home and eat microwave popcorn.

top




Battlefield Earth fetid
                 Directed by Roger Christian
                     starring John Travolta, Barry Pepper, Forest Whitaker 
                 Absolute and phenomenal garbage.
 
On IMDb

 

 

  
 Official Site

What a load of shit this movie was. An absolute pile of shit.  Nothing, absolutely nothing about it was good.  I laughed at the movie from start to finish.  Loudly, annoyingly, i am sure my guffaws bothered 3 of the 6 people in the theatre.  The other three were myself and my two friends.  To be fair i was warned, i knew before i went to this that it was a bad movie.  Of course, i wasn't able to fathom in my imagination at that time what a piece of garbage they were capable of packaging up and calling a movie.

They spent 80 million dollars on this slack-assed effort. I find that incredible.  Well, ok, i guess i don't, it can't be cheap getting all those artists of special effects to sell their souls to produce this excuse for a valid waste of my time.  My dog could have played a more believable 'evil alien' than Travolta did, my cat, more that Whitaker.  The humans...well, i got the impression that they were playing dogs.  At least until they started flying harrier jump jets with no training and even the ability to read.  

So. you can go to see this sorry excuse for entertainment, or you can heed the warning that i so flippantly ignored.  Don't go and see this movie.  Unless of course you are willing to go there and just yell and laugh at the screen.  Cause we did, and we had fun.  But let me set you straight, this is in spite of the tripe that was on screen.

I honoured this movie in one way only.  I gave it the rating of fetid.

top

 

The Big Kahuna half-turgid
                 Directed by John Swanbeck 
                     starring  Kevin Spacey, Danny Devito, Peter Facinelli
                 the words, it is all about the words and they will truly move you.
 
On IMDb

 

 

  
 Official Site

I am in complete and utter awe of this movie,  I don't even know if i am qualified to talk about this movie.  This movie where there is absolutely no need for production values where the one set they use is fine, whether you can actually see it or not.  The premise is entirely simple. Two well experienced marketing reps for a lubricant company, and one new to the road technical representative are in Wichita to land the Big Kahuna, the president of a tap and die company that would be their biggest sale ever. 

But that is not what the movie is about, even though it is all that the movie is about. I have heard complaints that this is not being truly a movie but rather a play.  And indeed it has been taken quite closely from the play, the Hospitality Suite by Roger Rueff, taken by Rueff, in fact.  And they are right, this is much like a play, everything about this movie is the dialogue.  The fabulous dialogue. 

It is about inner struggle of the one salesman as his life is swirling down the proverbial toilet, about another as he tries to reconcile the presence of god in his life into the workplace and the third as he just tries to cope with these things happening that are alien to his way of dealing with life. 

Talk about well done. Talk about superbly acted. Danny Devito...deserves and Oscar i think.  Kevin Spacey...smooth and believable and Peter Facinelli, provides a commanding performance.

I liked everything about this movie.  Sure nothing happens, but my mind has yet to stop thinking about it, over a week later.  I have given this movie a half-turgid.

top

 

 

Big Trouble limpid
                 Directed by    Barry Sonnenfeld
                     starring everyone. almost literally.  Tim Allen, Rene Russo, Janeane Garafalo, Dennis Farina,
                          Omar Epps, Ben Foster, Jason Lee, Stanley Tucci, Heavy D, Tom Sizemore, Patrick Warburton

                 This movie is like Pulp Fiction and Get Shorty wrapped in a crumb coating of nitrous oxide. 
 
On IMDb

 

 

  
Official Site

    I liked this movie.  I liked it a lot.   I get the impression from the other reviews that i have read and the box office that it is getting that my view would not fit that of the popular ones.  I couldn't tell you why.  I thought this movie was hilarious.  It was a complex, clever funny that never tried for the cheap shot.  The plot wasn't exactly unique and novel but it was well founded and different. I think that some of the characters were a little bit taken...i mean Dennis Farina could have picked up any notes he had made for his role of Ray Barboni in Get Shorty his character in this movie was so similar.

      I have been an off again on again fan of Dave Barry for a long time now, he's a quirky, often funny writer that captures a special view of the world.  He does there here in the movie that he has written.  He does the same thing in this movie, capturing a plot and characters that are quirky, strange and yet somehow real seeming.

     This movie is an ever-converging thread of plots that interconnect and become one with a believable and funny flow.  Tim Allen, a character obviously based upon some sort of Barry alter-ego becomes connected to a hit man's target through his son's making the target's daughter a target in an assassination game.  Then things get complicated.

     As i said, i liked this movie.  I liked the characters, i liked the dialogue, liked the plot.  The fact that it is doing so poorly in the U.S. might be because there is a bomb that makes it through an airport because the airport security are buffoons.  Who can say for sure.  Trust me on this though, it is funny. I have given this movie a limpid.

top

 

Bless the Child vapid
                 Directed by  Chuck Russell 
                     starring Kim Basinger, Jimmy Smits
                 Cults, religion, miracles, oh wait, who really cares?
 
On IMDb

 

 

  
Official Site

    Kim Basinger can't choose script to save her life, it would seem.  There are some that would also say that she can't act her way out of paper bag, but i wouldn't say that. I have been impressed with the job she has done in the past.   But you know, sometimes, she just can't.  I wonder if it is role specific and maybe she has to be able to pick better roles for herself as well as better scripts. 

   So, this movie was not well liked by myself as you might guess by what i just said.  The story, a simple one.  Kim is the aunt of a girl who is deemed by doctors to be autistic, by Kim to be special, and as it turns out, if you call being the next messiah special, then you would be correct in agreeing with Kim.  And as you might expect of a person who is the returning messiah, she is not safe from the worshippers of Satan (as an aside, how come we never read about the young Jesus having to dodge Satan worshippers?) 

   So this movies poorly written, poorly acted, poorly put together and just bored the hell out of me.  The only thing holding it back from getting a worse rating that it got is the fact that Christina Ricci was in it and she did a more than passable job.  I have given this movie a vapid and recommend that you never go and see it.  For there could be no good reason for such a thing. 

top

 

Boiler Room half-limpid
                 Directed by Ben Younger
                     starring  Giovanni Ribisi, Vin Diesel , Nia Long 
                 a cameo by Ben Affleck
 
On IMDb

 

 

  
 Official Site

A movie of mixed moral messages.  The star and protagonist starts out owning and running and illegal casino out of his home.  And continues to make weird choices throughout.  Then again, this movie is all about what money and the need for it can do for you.

This movie had a lot of things going for it.  I enjoyed this movie.  And yet it also had a number of complaints against it.   

I found every facet of the Boiler Room to be incredibly fascinating.  A stock market chop shop as it was called.  High pressure sales at heart.  They want your money and they want all of it.  Every last smidgeon, watching the attractive, young, money hungry stars go for this money was amazing.  They way that they managed to have every facet of the Boiler Room so active at all times, it was truly shot well.  I was rapt.  

Problems though?  Well the entire relationship between Seth and his father had some real problems with it.  It just seemed fake and stressed.  Like someone had made it up.  Oh wait a second, someone did make it up.  I just wished they had made it up to at least seem real.  
And Ben Affleck?  How much did they pay him to come in to say the word Fuck six hundred times and the go away again?  I don't know, i can understand his taking the role, it looked like fun.  But if there was anything that could convince us that only an idiot would fall for this type of scam, it was he.

But in the end, these seemed to be rather small problems.  Because i was unable to even think of anything but the movie while it was on the screen.  So i give it a half-limpid.

top

 

Boys and Girls tepid
                 Directed by  Robert Iscave
                     starring   Freddie Prince Jr., Claire Forlani, Jason Biggs
                 This movie doges the worst tagline ever to come up respectably ok.
 
On IMDb

 

 

  
 Official Site

   Surprise another teen masturbation flick that didn't suck. In fact this movie impressed the hell out of me with how much it didn't suck.  How's that for a glowing recommendation?  But it didn't, really it didn't, i thought it would, but it didn't.  I mean, consider, how could a movie that was called, Boys and Girls, Warning Sex Changes Everything be good?  Well, it might be going too far to be saying it is good, but, it wasn't bad.

   This movie, is, of course, a romance, how could it not be a romance, what with being a movie called Boys and Girls.  A boy and a girl meet numerous times throughout their life until, in spite, or perhaps because, of the fact that they are very much polar opposites as people they become fast friends.  And then, and then....well, i am sure you already have  the picture.

   This movie is not, predictable, exactly, but we could say rather easily that you will not be surprised by the story in the slightest.  But there are some good things.  The acting was actually well done for this type of film, some thing i term affectionately as a teen masturbation flick.  The script was witty and fresh, if not intelligent and deep.  The humour was actually funny.  Meaning i laughed more than a couple times.

  There were some characters that i could have done without.  Both of the best friends for instance.  Wholly shallow and pathetic, not funny and a waste of my time.  But i guess you might need filler every now and again.

   This movie shocked me with it's not sucking.  Just as i shocked myself with my dedication to this page by going  to see it.  It was pleasant, i have given it i a tepid.

 

top

 

Boys Don't Cry limpid
                 Directed by Kimberley Pierce
                     starring  Hilary Swank, Chloë Sevigny, Peter Saarsgaard
                   a tale set to tear you in two
 
On IMDb

 

 

  
 Official Site

A film of indomitable wills.  I have trouble believing the will that carried this star through her life.  What a way to live your life, to be propelled through with a need to be yourself and who you want to be and to quest after it so determinedly.  

This film is about a girl who is growing up with the need to be a boy.  Not just to be a lesbian, but to be a boy.  It is essentially a love story, but probably one that is unique for you, as i have certainly never encountered a twist such as this before.

This movie was acted quite well and i think that both Chloe and Hilary deserve the oscar nominations that they have been given.  Unfortunately, i don't think either will win.  Not that i am sure either should, but that i don't think that they will be given the consideration they deserve.   The cinematography and imagery is really quite well done, i was significantly impressed a number of times.  The writing, top notch.  

A point to be made.  This movie is not for the faint of heart, there are some nasty things going on, as you might expect from an intolerant Nebraska.

In the end, if you can cope with some intense pathos and horror, go for it. See the movie, it is worth it.  I give it a full limpid.

top