Challenge: Romance!
Phase II

So those of you who have read the Challenge: Romance Phase I stuff know what this whole thing represents.  Those of you who have not read it, are just doomed to be confused (unless, of course, you go and read it now.  Basically i am going through some challenges, as set by my friend shar that have the intent of getting me to a point where meeting and pursuing attractive women with the aim of achieving a romantic relationship.

The Terms

The next stage here is for me to actually have voice contact with women.  Not meet them and ask them out.  No, that is for further on down the challenge trail, in some future phase.  No, i have to say something, or have something said to me from a stranger.  In public.  It has to be someone that is not being required to speak to me, nor that i am being required to speak to (i.e..  It doesn't matter how much i flirt with a waitress, it does not count here).  To count, i have to make three distinct statements to this person.  They have to make some reply between each to make them distinct. I have until the end of April to do this 5 times.

There are those of you who are going to say, easy enough.  There are those of you who are going to say that is incredibly hard.  I was with a friend last night, who when a woman across the bar mouthed, 'i like your tie,' got up and went and talked to her and her friend for a half and hour.   i am sure he would think it mere child's play.  I am not sure yet.   I think that it might be easier than the eye contact thing because there needs to be a greater feeling of invitation before it happens.  But i have not tried it very hard before.  I guess we shall see.

Chronicle

DAY ONE - Mar 18, 2000

So i have not made a serious attempt at this yet. It seems like it is going to be very much more difficult to set these up than the eye contact. i actually have to go places where it will fit in.  you know, i can't walk up to a stranger on the street and just start talking.  Or at least i know i can't do that.  I don't know about you.  Tonight i am going to be at a gallery opening and i am going to be in a position to do this a little.  We shall have to see if i can get up the nerve to make an attempt.  My friends will be there and as such it is probably going to be very difficult.

Well. I suck.  That is all i can really say about the Gallery.  You know, i went with some of the best intentions. There is no better place that i can think of for this conversation thing to happen. I mean, consider; you and a thousand other people are milling around in a small enclosed space, your only intent to look at art and form opinions.  More than half of the people there, there obviously to schmooze with each other and chat.  I can not think of another place where i could anticipate opening an conversation with so many people and having great luck at winning a point.  I don't know why i didn't.  The first thought is of course that i am pathetic.  A second is that i have trouble excelling at such things.  For some reason it seems that with my friends around, whom i love dearly, this still doesn't work for me.  The encouragement of my friends is more oft to send me into a ball and hide than to step out of my shell and take the task into hand.

But you know, i don't really think that this was the whole problem or even the largest part of the problem, rather i just think that i was that yet to accept and work myself up to being able to do this new challenge. I think that i would have stepped in and made a point if i had been handed and opportunity but i was just not able to succeed in these circumstances without enough fore planning.  So i wasted what will probably be my best chance of my evening and week and probably this challenge.  But that is ok, i got to see a lot of art that i thought was not very good.  What a great trade off.

DAY TWO - Mar 19, 2000

Nothing.  Nothing at all.  I left the house for breakfast with my friend and was with him the whole time.  Try this on for size though.  I was in a bead store buying some new clasps for my jewelry making and there was some very nice jazz in the background.  As i was dipping into the little tubs of clasps the sales girl sang along a little.  She had a glorious and wonderful voice that really tugged at something deep inside of me.  Normally, i would say something to her about it, i really would, speaking and interacting with people being paid to be there in front of me has never really been a problem for me.  I flirt a lot with waitresses and clerks. Harmless flirting, never, ever, goes anywhere.  But you know, as i was thinking about saying something to her, i heard myself thinking, no, don't do that, she doesn't count.  She won't give you a point.  What a maroon i am.  Why would i do that?   She was still nice and deserved the compliment.  Ah well, i am going to have to reconstruct a little so that i am not just chasing point after point.  Because you know, even if i can't get a point with a clerk in a bead store....who knows, maybe i could get a date.  And if i get a date...i throw away the challenges right?

DAY THREE - Mar 20, 2000

Nothing happened today, sadly enough.  I spent the day with my friend S.  I don't really seem to know why but i don't seem to be able to try at the challenge very seriously when anyone i know is around.  S included.  S is probably my oldest friend in the world.  And yet i still can't.  I am not really sure why.  I think it has something to do with confidence.  But i am not sure why.  I seem to be Ok with doing it when J is around but not watching.  i don't know why this is so either.  I mean, if i can be sure of one single person making fun or mocking me for my attempts, it would be J (i am actually certain of more than that, but she is the one i would be most certain of), and yet, i think that because it would be so expected it would be ok.  either way, as i try to figure out the phenomena, in a day spent with S, there is not any scores to report.  Sigh. What's that i say? 

Tomorrow is another day.

I did notice that i still seem to be spurning salespeople like i would not have done before. i must still work on making it such that this challenge is not altering that part of my personality.  It is a good thing that i flirt with sales staff.

DAY FOUR - Mar 21, 2000

Wow this going to shock you, after all, you can see from the line directly above this one that i am on day four.  There has yet to be even one thing called an attempt.  But guess what, right below this will be attempt one. And i predict (this being written well after the event, that it will be a success.

ATTEMPT ONE

  So it is a Tuesday morning and i am on my way to work.  I am bleary eyed and tired and not even thinking much about the challenge as i walk up to the doors of the Seabus and wait for it to arrive.  Patiently i wait, not even getting irritated at all the little children type people flitting around me like flies around my picnic basket.  After a little while an attractive young woman comes up to stand beside me and let the 3 year old boy with her look out the window.  The kid was amazingly cute, the woman, quite attractive.  As the kid makes noises and they interact in that cool way that some mothers/nannies do, treating the kid as a person instead of a person with a miniature brain.  As i stand there i remember that i a have a challenge to take care of.  I think i stand through and chicken out of no less than 5 different instances where i can make a comment that will quite possibly illicit a nice reaction from her.  The child is so cute that this would be really easy.  But i seem to be having trouble doing it.
  As the Seabus nears the child keeps sidling in front of me in line, to the doors.  He wants on that boat.  I am thinking, 'no problem, he wants on first, he can go on first.'  But she is trying to keep him out from in front of me, being a polite waiter.  You know.  I really liked that about her.  After a few attempts, she said to me, to me, 'Would you mind...'  and was saying more, in explanation, but before she had a chance to finish, i was saying, 'no problem, go right ahead.'  
  This was not the end, if this was the end i would not be allowed a point.  We kept up making comments back and forth, all about the child.  I was amusing, or she was a good polite laugher.  I said 4 distinct things before the doors finally opened and we went on.  Again, i don't know if i would aware this as a point, she was, after all the person who spoke first.  However, there is more.
  When i was walking away from McDonalds with my breakfast i saw her and the child again.  I was walking right past them.  So i made eye contact, i smiled and i nodded to her.  She did the same things in return, smiling, eye contact, and said, 'thanks again.'  I smiled again and continued on my way, to work, happy.  

I have passed this by shar and i am told that this counts.  I have POINT ONE.

Right at this moment i should be at a dance bar with S.  If i was at the dance bar with S and J i would be trying to get more points.  I would be trying to think of a way to dance with women. I would be there,  i would be trying. I am, in fact, currently standing them up.  I am currently, probably in their minds, wussing out.  But you know, it is the cranky mood that i am in that is keeping me home.  I don't think i like me when i am cranky, ready to say something to hurt at the drop of a hat.  And you know, i am definitely capable of much pain with my voice.  Such is life. So i am staying home and getting stuff done.  And i am thankful for that.  Getting stuff done is good.  And i have a point today.  And tomorrow, is another day. 

DAY FIVE - Mar 22, 2000

  Apparently the winning of that first point has shot right to my head. I did not even come remotely close to making it today.  I don't know.   This second challenge doesn't seem that much more difficult when i get to the right place to make the challenge step that is necessary, but i seem to be having a lot more trouble getting there.

  On a good note.  On my way home from work today i saw a woman from work.  This is a gorgeous woman that i have talked to a few times and had a very pleasant time of it.  but somehow every time i am about to initiate a conversation, i just walk on by.  I just turn my head as if i wasn't going to make eye contact.  Why?  Well, it is hard to say.  She has been very friendly and wiling to talk to me when we have talked.  Often we say hi to each other.  When it comes to starting a conversation with her, i have not been able to.  Somehow i always manage some avoidance.  So today i am awaiting the Seabus on my way home and she is forging forward through the crowd in front of me.
  It would have been no trouble at all to just avoid her eyes and let her pass, to get lost in the crowd.  But i was not willing to do this.  I was thinking about my challenge and how letting her walk by would doom the spirit of the competition.  So i said her name as she walked by.  She stopped, happy to talk to me.  Or so it seemed. I am going to choose to believe that for the sake of my sanity.  We talked through the Seabus, we talked through my bus ride.  We said goodbye at my stop.  It was odd that she was going to my stop.  
  Pity that she is married.  She doesn't count.

DAY SIX  - Mar 23, 2000

 Pity, nothing happened today.

 Tomorrow is not today.

DAY SEVEN - Mar 24, 2000

   You'd almost think that this being a friday and all that i would have endless opportunities to see people.  But i didn't, i don't know why.  I spent the day at work, i went to a movie after work, no one seen there, no one to talk to.  I went home after this and worked and slept all night.  I suppose if i was more dedicated to the challenge that i would have gone to chapters after the movie or something and tried.  But i didn't.  That would be too much of a step,

DAY EIGHT  - Mar 25, 2000

   I made eye contact with and smiled at two different women on the way home today, but i didn't really know what else to do about it.  How do you know when you can take eye contact and a smile and make it into a conversation?  Does anyone have a rule on this that can be obeyed?  Something simple that i can use?  I thought not, you are just going to say that it is something that you just see and that i should figure it out.  Sigh, if that isn't always the way.  Tomorrow may be another day, but i don't know if i am even going to be leaving the house.   We shall have to see.

DAY NINE  - Mar 26, 2000

   So today i left the house.  I didn't even get close to an attempt, but something a little strange did happen and i am wondering if i should have been capitalizing on it.  
I am returning from getting my lunch, take out, walking down the street.  A woman is walking towards me, a young woman, rather attractive.  She is fiddling with a camera and walking along.  As we come close she grabs my eyes with hers. I had never really considered that someone else would be able to exercise this type of power on me, but i guess when you think about it, it only makes sense.  She used her eyes to suck mine in.  And then i  figured, what the hell, my eyes are here now, and i smiled.  And she smiled back.  And then the weird bit happened.  After i had smiled at her and she had smiled back, she said, 'hello.'  And we kept walking.  What the hell was that supposed to mean?  I guess she might have just been being friendly, but there was no context.  We were just walking by one another.  If she had been a tourist, i would have understood, but she really seemed to be a local, although, i don't know why i say that.  It is not like there was room for us to have a conversation from this, unless i stopped her and talked to her.  Or said something back.  I just don't know.  Confused at it is what i am.

DAY TEN - Mar 27, 2000

   Ok, i know what the problem is.  I don't go anywhere where i can meet these women that i am supposed to have these conversations with.  Not only this but if i do go somewhere i am with someone.  What a waste.  Now i am going to have to schedule some time alone with myself in public places so i can arrange for some conversations to happen.

    But nothing happened today.

DAY ELEVEN  - Mar 28, 2000

   Blah, blah, blah. Nothing today. suck.

DAY TWELVE  - Mar 29, 2000

    I am not going to have anything to say today either.  Although i would like to say that on most days now i am scoring a point or two from challenge one. I find that i am always on the look out for someone who would be receptive to meeting my eyes and smiling.  I appologize for my lax challenge Phase II performance though. i am going to have something to say next time, i promise.

DAY THIRTEEN  - Mar 30, 2000

     Right.  Since i update day thirteen on the same day as day twelve it doesn't count as the next time ok.

      Two things came up today though.  i was sitting at lunch across from a woman at work, someone i see all the time.  I noticed today that she has the most dazzling steel grey eyes.  Deep and gorgeous.  Now, not that i would hit on her anyways, because she is married, but i found i could not even say to her that she had cool eyes.  You might think right away that it is because i suck.  Or that it was because i can not talk to women.  Or something.  But actually it is rather that i would be embarrassed by the compliment.  I mean, it is not usual to give such compliments.  You only say things about eyes, in general to people that you are either seeing, interested in, or who you know is not going to take it in that way.  Why do you suppose that is?  Do you think that it is just because our society says it is?  Or is it as i fear because i have some sort of irrational fear that stops me from allowing anyone to even think that i have feelings for them.  I don't know for sure.  Is there a stigma about such an compliment to a person who is not that close to you?  hmmm.

DAY FOURTEEN  - Mar 31, 2000

  Today had no points.  No potential points either.  Couple of things though.

   Something was said to me today that makes me think i should clarify something about myself here.  I was told that i shouldn't be afraid to talk to women.  I don't have a fear of talking to women.  I seem to be able to talk to women just fine. I talk to them all the time. I do quite well at talking to them.   What i have trouble doing is appearing like i might be interested in a woman.  This translates to not being able to talk to strange women that i meet because there is almost nothing else that i seem to be able to associate this with.  This also seems to translate into an ability to talk to women that i know to be attached amazing well.  I can be very charming to people who are not a threat of this interest thing.  Oddly enough this was the situation with the one person i was in love with years ago.  I had met and got to know her well while she was attached.  At times i can get this to translate over into the non-attached people in my life, but not too often and i don't know why i can do it sometimes and not others.
   
   Occasionally my shyness and inability to talk to people backfires a little. Remember up there where i talked about the woman from work that i talked to all the way home (Day Five)?  Today i talked to her for a while.  I was charming and friendly and we had a great conversation, but during it she led me to believe that she wished we had been having these conversations all along (she has been at my workplace off and on for about 3 weeks now).  That she had been feeling lonely when there.  And i kept walking by for days and not talking to her because at first i though she was single and then i was shy.  After i knew she was married, i just didn't know how to start a conversation.  But as it turns out she wanted to be having the conversation.  Silly me.  More conversations with beautiful women can't harm me can they?

   Also tonight, i met a new person.  A new person that i knew to be married.  I could feel this mattering as i was able to talk to her and not be too dumb.  Interesting and amusing even.  If i have to say this myself.  If she had been single, i think that i would have been quiet and reserved, i can't know this for sure but i think that is would have been the case.  I think the fact that she was outgoing and interesting herself would have probably have driven me into a shell even more if she had been single.   I am so fucked.  Ah well, such is the way of life. 

DAY FIFTEEN  - April 1, 2000

  Today, nothing new.  No time spent on my own trying to meet people.

   However, when you look at what i just said in day Fourteen, i have some progress.  Or some addition to make i guess.  I met someone new.  I met someone who was single.  I was able to talk all day, i was able to be, well, not really charming, but better than normal.  So it can happen.  but you know, for the most part it happens well with people who are from foreign countries.  Seemingly, i am able to talk better, not only when i am traveling, although this is without doubt the case, but also when they are traveling here.  Some sort of overgrown CDN hosting gene or something.  I like it, but it confuses me at times.  If the woman we had picked up at the airport had been from Toronto, i might not have spoken at all, or less at least. 

   Ah well, what can i do?  Maybe i should move to somewhere else so that everyone i meet is foreign.

DAY SIXTEEN - April 2, 2000  thru DAY TWENTY-FOUR April 9, 2000

   Right.  I suck.  I am officially disheartened.  I am on the verge of giving up.  I have not given up yet, but i am having that feeling where that is what i should be doing.  You know the feeling, the one where there will not possibly be any success so why bother wasting your time going for it.  Yeah, that is the one.  I guess it would have started with the fact that it has been, let me count, no, no, i don't think i am going to count, and i am going to blatantly ignore even the simplest of math in my pursuit of not knowing how many days it has been.  But let me tell you that the one point i have so far in this challenge was on day four.  

   Sigh.  I don't know what is wrong.  Ok, i do know what is wrong. i have not taken the steps necessary to make this challenge a success as the last one was.  why?  Easy enough.  I don't go places that i can at least make the attempts in.  In the first challenge i did ok because i didn't go anywhere special to do it.  I didn't have to change my life patterns.  I could just live through them.  Force myself to participate.  But i can't seem to get there.   I guess i have to to make it.  Ok, i am going to the symphony tomorrow. i am going alone. i might, maybe, be able to make some inroads there.  I don't know what will happen if i can't.  i really don't.  

   Of course, i am not trying to be over dramatic, worst case, i quit the challenge.  We shall have to see.

DAY TWENTY-FIVE - April 10, 2000

  Over the river and through the woods, to grandmother's house we go.  Ok, i am not out of the woods yet. I am still on my way through them.  But it looks like i am not going to give up.  Giving up would be stupid.  But will i do anything different?  I mean, if i am going to win, i have to do something different.  I have to make a change.  

   So, today, didn't do that much.  It did do something, but not that much and none of that which it did was set up to get me a point.  What do you want from the day, it was having trouble just getting through a Monday.  you know how it goes.   I have been stepping back a little.  I am going to back to the challenge strategies of the first challenge, not because i expect someone that i smile at to talk to me, but because i have been misplacing this part of the challenge as well.  I guess i have been trying a little, but more often i am looking for someone to talk to.  And this does not work that well.  Because the places i am going don't have people to talk to.  So i have to go back to challenge one and make some strides towards getting that arrogance and confidence back.  so i am trying. i got a couple of hits today.  i don't remember getting hits that easily before.  So this is a good sign. i just have to work at it.

DAY TWENTY-SIX - April 11, 2000

   In keeping with yesterday's new trend, today i made eye contact and smiled two more times. but that was all.  It is a useful trend i would say. but how useful is it?  I don't know.

DAY TWENTY-SEVEN - April 12, 2000

   Today had nothing very much happen. i had a couple of run ins.  I think that is what i might call instances where i make eye contact and smile from now on.

    One thing did occur.  Today was a gorgeous and beautiful day.  When i walked out of the house i was put in such a high mood that i walked along with immense confidence and joy.  I arrived at the bus stop and noticed that there was someone not quite too intimidating to talk to.  And i thought i should.  But then i ran into a problem, what do you say to a woman at a bus stop just to make conversation. I mean i could have said something about the weather but how lame would have have been?  I was all set, all ready, i could have said something if i could have figured out something to say.  I was praying for something to happen so that i could say something.   But nothing did.  On the bright side, it was the closest to a point i have come in a long time.

Tomorrow is another day.

DAY TWENTY-EIGHT - April 13, 2000

   So today, was, if you need to know it, a bust. But then again, you shouldn't be surprised, they have all been recently.  At least it doesn't seem to be getting me down.  Now the problem might have returned to dedication.  I was actually at a produce store today.  As i was on my way to this store from work, i remember thinking that a produce store would most likely be a good place to do such things.  You know, i have heard about the way that supermarkets are great places to pick up and etc.  And so i went.  I was in and out in 2 minutes, leaving with the the required items.  Did i talk to no one?  In and out in 2 minutes including check out and i should talk to someone?  I don't think so. 
   You see, i forgot.  Remember when i couldn't gain my point in my eyes and smile challenge if i don't keep absolute concentration on the task at hand?  Well, i got there, concentrated on picking the right tomatoes and grapes and didn't even come close to challenging.

   I remembered my original intent when i was almost to Shar's house.  So i need to concentrate more.  Sigh.

DAY TWENTY-NINE - April 14, 2000

   I don't remember anymore how to indicate if i have a point.  but this is ok, it is not like i won one today.
Then again, i stayed in for the better part of the day.  I did manage to make a couple of old-style eye points.  And they are pretty cool.  And you know what, i have to concentrate less on them, and the smile comes faster.  You'd almost think this challenge thing is working, or might have long lasting effects.  Shar, if you are listening, you my have been right.   You may be amazing.  I may thank you.  Later.

   I also made a slight breakthrough.  I made eye contact with one particularly beautiful woman and the response i got when i smiled?   A look of decided disdain.  A look that said, 'why are you smiling at me?  what right do you have, i am beautiful?'  This is not the breakthrough, the breakthrough is that i didn't care.  I smiled wider and thought, 'yeesh, i'm fine, you're the freak.'

DAY THIRTY - April 15, 2000

   I feel like i am back at university.  Shar, can i have an extension, i don't think i have enough time to produce a passing result in this challenge.  

   I realize now that i made another mistake when i left the house today.  Well, first, i left the house today, but more importantly, i went to places where i might have had a good chance, a music store, future shop, and art gallery.  But did i even think about the challenge?  Afraid not.  And i didn't realize until now that the only reason for this failure is my lack of concentration at the time.   I don't even remember thinking about it after i left my apt.
   Then i went out and had a great time with some friends, and didn't even attempt to make a dent in the challenge.  

  So today was without point, but i can't care, because it was a great day.

DAY THIRTY-ONE - April 16, 2000

   I only feel the need to re-iterate.  " So today was without point, but i can't care, because it was a great day."
A friend from Ottawa that i love to see whipped into town out of the blue and i spent the day with him, not thinking about the challenge.  Perhaps i lack dedication, perhaps i feel a little bad that i am not performing for you, my loyal publick.  but, wait, i must say it again, " So today was without point, but i can't care, because it was a great day."

   But tomorrow is another day.  I shall try to do better for you.

DAY THIRTY-TWO - April 17, 2000

   Ok, today was not that different a day to start off with.  Nothing in the morning, nothing at all.  Not even a smile and an eye.  But i was not disheartened, i just went on with my day as normal.  But then, at the end of my day something happened.  Yup, you guessed it, i got a point. (now i just have to remember how to format that...i guess i shall just cheat and go up and look).

ATTEMPT TWO

   Is it truly the case that this is only my second attempt?  it might be.  Maybe i have not even been coming close enough to be calling these attempts to myself.  Sigh, that sucks. but that is not what we are here for, what we are here to discuss.  We are here for my POINT POINT POINT POINT.   That is right ladies and gentlemen, i have scored another point, it has only taken 27 days to get here.  
   So i am waiting for the elevator late in the day this afternoon. It dings, lights up and i get in as a guy gets out.  Leaving me alone in the elevator with a rather cute young lady.   I note that she is leaning forward and hitting P2, that's down.  I wasn't even thinking about it, i just said, 'oh, i thought this was going down,' as i leaned forward to hit the security tab and hit the sixth floor button.  She spoke back, 'really, sorry,' and smiled.  I smiled back and said something dorky like, 'that's ok, this way i get to go on a nice trip.'  She smiled again and said something along the lines of, 'glad i could help.'  Then we were there and i said, as she left, 'night.'  She smiled back and left.

So this may be a pathetic point.  I don't feel very good about it, becasue i was not trying for a point, i was just in an elevator and happened to find a reason to speak.  But technically, but the rules of the challenge, it is a point.  And there was a lot of smiling, and if see her again, i might be able to say more.  So it counts right?  Of course it counts.  Point 2.  I am both happy and unhappy about it.  Why can't i get them when i am out looking for them?

Tomorrow is still another day.

DAY THIRTY-THREE - April 18, 2000

About the best thing i can say about today was that it was another day. One might think that i would be in a high mood because of the point i had received the day before but this is just not the case.  Because i was not happy about the point.   So i don't think i did much today, i don't think i was all into trying all that hard.  In fact as far as the challenge goes, this day was a write off.

DAY THIRTY-FOUR - April 19, 2000

Today was better.  I was doing better today in that i didn't seem to mind about the way i didn't like the point i had received,  i mean i made eye contact twice.  That was a good thing.  I was getting back into it. 

DAY THIRTY-FIVE - April 20, 2000

In terms of progress today, i made some big progress.  I really did.  I don't get a point but i made some progress, that is very good.   Shall we start with at teaser?  I got a phone number of a woman tonight.  (i can see some eyebrows lift, a phone number, but no point scored? what kind of weird games is this guy playing).  It starts like this, i went to a pub with a number of friends to hang out and listen to a band.  While there, one of our number challenged this couple that was beside us to some darts.  The girl was really quite attractive in a charismatic fashion and i had been looking at her with interest for a while, trying to figure out if she was with the guy.  As we were sitting there my friends J and S who know about the challenge (not all my friends are privy to it, thank god) were asking me if i was interested.  When i said, yes, they were goading me to go for it.  I kept pointing at the guy and the were telling me that it was obvious that he was a loser and that i should go for it.  So, i'm like, yeah right, i can't talk to a girl when she is alone, but i am going to steal her from her boyfriend, i can see that happening.
   A little later, i found myself playing darts on the board next to them and was listening to the banter that was going on between them and my friend who was playing them.  I was being a little shy and talking to my friend by not directly at the girl.  Then i decided, i actually decided that this was silly, that i could at least try to be friendly in her direction and see what happened.  Not try to pick her up or anything like that, but at least try to talk, you know, practice.

So i did this.  i started making comments to her and her friend.  Who i still did not know was her boyfriend or not, (i only found out later that it was their second and probably last date).  And all of a sudden i am flirting with her full bore.  Not stopping, no, just flirting.   Not too much longer after this, she is inviting us to a party the next night.  We are accepting and i find myself giving her paper and pen to get her number.  Which i have now.   
   This was not the end of the evening, from there we went to another bar and then an after hours club and my home.  It was very surreal.  There was an incredible amount of flirting going one (mostly why there will likely be no more dates between them), huge amounts of touching and in the end i had some lone conversations with her that were very cool and, well, a kiss or two that didn't mean anything.  No points, but proof that i know what to do when i need to do it.  That is a very good sign. 

DAY THIRTY-SIX - April 21, 2000

Today only one thing challenge worthy happened (well aside from the fact that the above mentioned girl left my house at 7 in the morning...no, nothing happened that i didn't already tell you).  My friend S and i spent the day deciding whether we were going to go to her party or not.  For him it was the idea of going to the party, for me, it was a little that, but very much more the idea that i was going to have to call her to find out details.  It was not until i let this slip that all of a sudden i was not given a choice.  And this was  a good thing.  He kept goading me until i did call her.  At work, as she asked, but i got some switchboard that i didn't know how to navigate to her.  So i called her home and left her a message.  I had called.  I felt on the top of the world.  Maybe that was why i did well at poker.  

The rest of the day was spent with guys, oh and J, but she doesn't count.  Oh, and for the record, she never called back that night so we didn't go to the party.  She has not called back yet now, 3 days later, and i am going to call her back soon.

DAY THIRTY-SEVEN - April 22, 2000

Ahem, today, out of the blue, i scored a point. At first i was not sure if this was going to be a point as it violated one of the rules, but i felt sure about it and was more than willing to fight for it.  But Shar confirmed it for me, no fight needed.

ATTEMPT THREE

S and i spent the day gathering food supplies for our meal the next day.  At one point we wandered into a store to look for something for him to get for a i-was-away-and-thinking-of-you gift.  While in a store where he had found something i was just standing there, to the side of the cash, obviously not buying anything (this is important) and i saw that the woman behind the cash was reading a book called Kafka for beginners.  I like Kafka, i addressed a comment to her and to my friend (so i guess i had a little help here) about her book.  We then had a conversation about the book.  Not one where we had to count the exchanges to be sure but an interesting one that lasted for over 5 minutes.  Way beyond what a service personal would feel obligated to do if she was making a sale.  
  You might ask if i made my move on her, but no.  I may be an intellectual snob, but when we discovered that the book on Kafka that she  was reading was an illustrated comic book version and not an annotated one...interest dwindled.   but that was not the point of the challenge.

DAY THIRTY-EIGHT - April 23, 2000

Today was one of those other days.  Nothing much happened.  There was only one, i think, yeah, one single woman at the dinner party and i don't think we are a good match.  But i did make sure i talked to her throughout the evening, i even spent quite a while chatting her up.  Flirting and being interested and such things.  i was well received and happy about that.  There was a point of incredible tension for me a little later though.

We were playing a game, a group of 9 or so of us.  the game was supposed to pose questions to get to know and embarrass each other.  it was going quite well and a little embarrassing, but nothing special.  then the simple question came up, what would you say if the person two to your right asked you out on a date.  i went around the circle, asking people and then when it was around to me i pulled out the next question and made to ask it.  you guessed it the person to my right was the single girl.  I was not ready to say anything about this.  Declare openly that i was even remotely interested in her... god.  No.  So i said something like, 'oh what the hell, sure.' and laughed.  how destructive is that really?  And then when she was offended and people were laughing, i actually managed to change it to, 'yes, i would be honoured.'  but i had ruined it already.  How good is that?  Must work on the ability to express interest when it exists.  Thankfully i did make it clear to the other girl that i was intersested on Day Thirty Five.   

DAY THIRTY-NINE - April 24, 2000

didn't leave the house today.  you guess the challenge result.

DAY FORTY - April 25, 2000

Pretty normal day today.   Met a couple of eyes, smiled once or twice...same old same old.  The only thing that is important right now though, is that date.  It is April 25, that means 5 more days.  There are only 30 stupid old days in April...with that one extra day in may i am sure i could do it....he he he.  Ok, ok....i'm just stretching, grasping and pulling at anything i can right now.

DAY FORTY-ONE  - April 26, 2000

Today was going to be a bust.  I had stayed up rather late last night talking to a completely amusing friend and thus, somehow was in a daze all day.  It was worth it, i had a great conversation...but i regretted the lack of sleep more than once today.  I slept on the bus, standing, and i slept on the seabus, sitting.  I didn't have the energy to look up let alone make eye contact, smile and talk.

On my way home though...something really cool happened.  In February i was sitting at my computer, working on something or other when my buzzer went.  Pretty unusual, my friends do not stop by unannounced for the most part.  I stepped out and and it was an attractive young woman of about my age.  I answered the door and she was awaiting the manager, to see an apt.  I was not the manager, however, in a fit of insanity, i not only invited her in the building, i remained talking to her for half and hour.  I gave he a tour of my apt and just tried to be as charming and amusing as i could.  Encouraging her to move in was definately at the top of my mind.  She was great, a singer, songwriter, stock broker who had spent the last year tromping around asia.  And she was enjoying talking to me.  When my manager finally arrived, i told him that he needed to give her the apt if she wanted it, because i liked her (this actually has weight with my manager as well because for some reason he really likes me).  After they left, i was in a state of high energy and distraction for the rest of the night.

So this is two months later.  I thought she had not moved in, I had never heard of her again.  Well, I was walking across the street to my home from the bus and I saw a woman in business attire walking towards me. pretty cute. I figured I should do the eye/smile. So I did. And as I did that her face breaks into a great big smile and as  we approach, her eyes light up, her hand comes out to shake mine and and as I take it, she says, 'hello there mister.'  Well she had a cross medallion out over her collar so I am thinking, 'I am being religiously accosted.'  But the smile and the familiarity threw me, I was considering running for it, when I thought, 'nah, she's cute, I can handle some religion for looking at this smile for a while.' And then she says, 'you don't remember me do you?' and then it clicks. It was the girl I had chatted with in feb. Not only did she remember me from February, she is happy to see me.  She did move in, I just had not seen her and she had been gone for a month. We chatted very briefly, she was on her way to a job interview.  Get this, I managed to actually say she was looking very good. And then she had to run. What a heady feeling. she was happy to see me.

So here we go.  The challenge is done.  I have had a few days to think about it. At first, i was unhappy. I didn't like that i had won my challenge, or rather i was unhappy with how i had won.  Not one of my points was scored because i had willingly went out and found someone to talk to. To make my point off of.  I had rather just managed to put myself in position on occasion after occasion to let it happen by accident. Take the last point.  What did i do that day?  I went from location to location looking for someone to accidentally talk to.  and it worked.  Of course it did, if you put yourself in the range of fire often enough...you are going to get shot.  And i went into this challenge knowing that i did not have a problem talking after things get initiated.  I do have a problem getting past the talking, gauging interest, asking out, moving things to a footing that isn't merely friendly or in passing.  

So i felt kind of icky about it.  But this weekend sort of changed that a little.  On two separate occasions i filled the requirements for a phase 2 points.  not only that, i did it consciously...thinking that i wanted to intiate and see what would happen.  I did it wanting to do it.  Both times the response were friendly and receptive.  The one woman even seemed to be hitting on my back, i was in a grocery store and she randomly appeared back beside me when i was at a different set of vegetables.  It would have made more difference, i guess if i had been attracted to either...then going further might have been an option. Or, maybe that was let me do it so easily.   I also got a lot more interest from other people, something about self confidence and friendlyness.   You know.  Sadly...i was with the same person during all of these encounters, and i was getting interest and he was not.  And he is going through a tough time right now.  So, oddly...it started to make himself feel bad about himself.  What do you do then eh?

Ah well....that is ok.  It was a very good weekend for bolstering my confidence.  and that has done impressive things. i mean, i am always in a good mood and pretty well off....but...this has done even more for me.

OK, Shar and i are thinking about and discussing Phase III. You will be the next to know.  Thank you for you continued and wonderful support.