Now is the time in my web page when i Perplect.  

Vulnerablility - Challenge Romance and It's Reactions. My Challenge Romance section of my web page has shown me a number of things that i find interesting to learn.  Not the least of which is how much it can change the way that people interact with you, or feel about you.  
  Many reactions have been great.  I have received no end of support from a lot of my friends.  Some have been helpful with advice and showing me what i could do to improve my chances.  Some thought that it would be easy until they actually went out and made an effort to do the same thing that i was requiring myself to do in my challenge. 
  Some have been uncomfortable.  For instance, my mom's.  I never really gave the thought that my mom might read it much thought.  I mean, sure i sent her to check out my site, but that was a while ago, long before i had started putting up my challenge.  Well, one day she calls me up, throws out some small talk and then says, 'how long since you haven't been able to smile?'  and 'I don't understand, you smile all the time.'  Not a comfortable conversation.  My first reaction at getting asked this question by my mother was to scream and run at the wall until i was knocked unconscious.  I decided quickly that this was not a healthy reaction, i would have to pay for the wall damage.  So i tried very hard also not to give one of the clip and nasty answers that have the effect of wanting mom to stop talking to me.  I don't like these much either, but they do seem to come out at times.  Instead, i took the uncomfortable road, i told the truth, in succinct and non-volunteering answers.   Very quickly two things happened, mom became uncomfortable with what she was hearing and she sensed my discomfort as well (or so i surmise) and she stopped asking the questions.  I guess i should count myself lucky, it could have been dad.
  But for the most part i have sensed a gathering closer of my friends. i have noticed that they seem to like me more and want to talk to and be around me more.  You know it is something i have had some experience with in the past as well.  I come across as a very confident and closed individual.  This is how you see me if you know me in real life.  Is not necessarily who i am, i am pretty easy to convince to tell anyone who asks basically anything about myself.   But it is the image that i convey.  This self confidence and sense of strong self seems to keep most people far from me.  Added to this would be my habit of making light of most things and teasing rather harshly most of the time.  But i have sensed many of my friends growing closer as i have revealed more and more about myself.
  It seems that this is important.  As i appear to have a real vulnerability and problems, they seem to get closer and like me more.  It's like i was not a real human but as i became more human that they realized it and started to soften to me.  i find it a little strange as i still feel like exactly the same person, i don't think i am acting differently, but because they can read about this stuff there, they feel better about me.  And, not only that, they also can talk to me about this stuff, even though they always could.  But i guess, without the web page they wouldn't know what questions to ask.  either way, it has been interesting and unusual.
  Other reactions.  There was one friend who tried to use this vulnerability as a weapon against me.  Strange but true.  Thinking that she now new a weakness to exploit she tried taunting me with it.  She tried staring me directly in the eyes.  She told a friend to stare into my eyes cause that would scare me.  She said some things.  Poor dear.  That was not how to get at me, and as a result she didn't and lost a peg of respect in my eyes.  
  There were a number of other good natured taunts and jibes.  These were all in good fun as well and didn't hurt me at all.  There was one that was of good natured intent that managed to hurt me quite badly, but it was not really the vulnerability that had done it.  It was the knowledge that i had hurt someone's feelings that made me feel bad.  I have a problem with knowingly hurting the feelings of anyone.  But that was cleared up as well.
  All in all the reactions have almost been as amusing as the interaction itself.  I have felt myself changing and getting better as i go.  I am meeting more eyes and smiling at more women, i am being more openly friendly.  but perhaps it is the interactions with friends that is changing that might be the better product in the long run.  It is hard to say.  

Tomorrow is another day.