Now is the time in my web page when i Perplect.  

Blatant Disregard for Personal Well Being.  So yesterday i am in the shower, you know getting clean and i am very much enjoying the warm water.  As a delaying tactic for getting out of the shower (it felt very good, so good i was willing to just throw the well being of the environment out the window) i picked up my conditioner and started to read the bottle.  Here is how that went.

Ingredients: Deionized Water, (this is good), Cetyl Alcohol, (wondering what it is a little), Behenakonium Chloride (huh?), Propylene Clycol. Ceteth-3 Acetate (it has a number it in, i am starting to get afraid...even the water wasn't normal), Hydrolyzed Wheat Protein (in my hair?), Hair Keratin Amino Acids (from whose hair exactly?), Hydrolyzed Soy Protein, Ginger Extract (starting to feel edible...but not good edible...stuff i would never want to eat), Guarana Extract,  Cystine (chapel?), Magnesium Sulphate (because my hair needs minerals of course), amodimethicone (gosh my spell check doesn't recognize this),  Tallowtrimonium Chloride, Nonoxynol 10 (it's not oxynol? not 10?  what is it?) Fragrance (everyone loves fragrance, i just kind of wish they could be a little more specific) Neopentylglycol Dicaprylate/Dicaprate, Tricdecyl Sterate, Trydecly Trimmellitate, Propylene Glycol (my hair, at this point, has basically scared itself dry) Citric Acid (hey, i know what that is, hey, hey, hey...hey, i'm putting orange juice in my hair?), Sodium Chloride (salt in my hair seems so innocuous at this point...) Methylcholoisothiazolinone, Methylsiothiazolinone (what the hell...there are more letters in those words than i have hairs).  

C'est tout.  So that's the stuff i put in my hair.  Willingly.  Every day.  I am looking back at the list again, and i am getting uneasy again.  Why would i put all this stuff in my hair?  Why?  Is the reason that it makes it soft and lush and smells like a combination of the best fruits good enough?  I mean i know this stuff can't be good for you.  How could it?  And how do they decide what they are going to put in this stuff.  

Well, it was maybe a day later when i am walking down the street, eating a hot dog for lunch.  As i eat the hot dog, i once again realize that this shit is bad for me and will kill me.  And then i take another bite.  Why can't i seem to care enough about the death i am sticking into myself to stop eating it.  I don't really hold with the fact that ingesting animal flesh is harmful, i truly believe humans to be omnivores and a certain amount of meat is healthy.  But this isn't meat, it's a loose conglomeration of nitrates and odd insides of assorted animals.  Not good.  And yet, another bite.  

I realized at this point that i have been a hypocrite for pretty much my entire life. I have long held this secret inner sense of better that was attached to my not doing things like smoking.  I would look at smokers and think, 'how can you do that to yourself?  Don't you know what you are doing to yourself?  How can you?'  But consider, no matter how bad i know things like hot dogs or pizza are for me, i keep ingesting them. I know there is a separation in the amount of bad. but where is the line that is drawn?  when is something bad enough that i will not do it, no matter how much i want it, and where is the line that allows me to do it?

right away i would say that the line is at cigarettes, but that is not fair, i have never been addicted to them as i am pizza.  and it is not like i could possibly give up pizza.

In short i should stop doing all of these things that are self destructive.  but in the end, i don't seem to want to.  is this is a problem?  should one live the pristine life for an extra 2 weeks at the end?