Now is the time in my web page when i Perplect.  

Perceive in Me:   I'll quote it again, just because i am likely to change the stuff on top long before i change the perplection again.  . 

don't be silly, you are like the earth, with many planets orbiting around, trying to get closer, but your atmosphere (aura of coolness) is just too hot, and thus we all spontaneously combust (ie: never make the cut, except for Shar!)  

So a friend said this about me the other day, she was half joking but that wasn't the important part or point, it was rather what it made me think about.  It started me to thinking about the way that i have interacted with my friends and other people in my life.  I have never been the core of a group of friends, nor have i had a group of really close friends so to speak.  
   During high school i had a couple of close friends and then i was a fringe member of a number of other groups of people.  In university i hit the same way, although i found that i was able to be closer to the members of most of the groups that i was a fringe member but i still found myself being a fringe member.  Not really become all that close with any one member of the groups.  I mean, i made some good friends in university, but they were not the norm and they all had closer friends that i.  I do seem to have one knack, and that is for lasting though, i don't, even though i am abrasive at times, alienate them to the point of their not wanting to be friends anymore and i do keep in contact with the people that i like.  Well this was all well and good, i think that being the person who enjoys being alone with himself so well this has worked out quite well for me.  When i want to be with people, i always had one of my fringe groups to join.  Spiffy.  I think that sometimes i found myself to be lonely, but you know, that would go away, because i am my best friend and i work well that way.  

   Since moving to Vancouver, things have been a little different though.  I guess the same but different, i have allowed myself to become even closer to the groups that i am a fringe member of.  In fact, this seems to have made me less than a fringe member, it has made me more of a core member of some groups.  This is a new thing for me, but it isn't that strange.  I have become closer to people and that is personal growth right?  I mean it isn't that weird and it even seems to be fairly healthy for me.  But you know what else, i haven't stopped from joining more than one group, fringes of groups, only i haven't been stopping at the fringes.  I have been bringing these groups together and letting them interact, to quote a friend, 'letting my worlds collide.'  
   This brings me back to my point, with me being a focal point for these groups, of which i would used to be a fringe member has actually made, on occasion, them seem to be revolving around me.  Hence the moment of truth in the statement that my friend made.  Not total truth, it is nothing like what she says there, but i have maintained my distance, or my semblance of distance so that i am only really close to some of them.  I guess to the others this might seem that i am unapproachable.  But you know, this is the part of me that is a loner, that likes to be alone.  The part that has the hard candy shell, to quote someone else very special to me.  
   I don't get close easy, i am open easy, but i don't get close easy.  The fact that i have as many close friends as i do at this point in my life scares me at times.  At other times it keeps me so busy that i feel the loner side of me welling up in pain and batting me around the head until i enter into a hermitage. But to the outside, maybe what is seen is a revolving solar system of friends, each fringe a different planetary group, trying to get in.

Very interesting imagery.  I wonder if i will move towards more closeness or more alone.  I shall see, and if you are interested, i shall tell you.