Now is the time in my web page when i Perplect.  

Need your Love?   

   Do you think we all have a need to be loved?   Not just for someone to love us but to have some sort of deep love connection with someone?  Someone with the strength of our parental type love?   I am getting at the type of connection to someone that is so strong, so tight that when you lose it you are knocked back on your ass and can't even move for the rest of the day.  
   I think that we likely do need this sort of thing.  I think that whenever you come across someone who seems unhappy down to their core, or at the least you can sense that they will always be unhappy, that you will be able to see that they don't have any relationships with this sort of love in them.  That they are the ones who have remained shallow in their life and in their love.  
   This sort of all arises from a movie i was watching this morning.  I was watching Hanging Up a not very good movie staring some rather good actresses.  The story line revolved around the way that 3 sisters were dealing with their father losing his faculties.  That is what started me thinking, i guess, they were being hit so hard by their father going through this and i wasn't thinking about my family.  Not at all.  I was pondering what it would be like for this to happen to me and i realized that i wasn't getting a family image in my mind when i was thinking about it, i was getting the image of a close friend instead. 
   I don't think that i have made a secret of the fact that i do not get along all that well with my parents.  We still get along and talk and stuff but i don't really find that i am one of those children who has this deep connection with his family.  In fact the whole love card is pretty blank where they are concerned though.  I don't know if i am, or do, or whatever, but if it is there it is not something that i feel deeply.  On the other hand there are some friends that i have that i care very deeply for, that i can't imagine not being knocked to my knees if something happened to them.  

   so now i am wondering, is this something we need, as humans, to exist as well adjusted beings?  When you don't have this kind of bond with your parents or family do you go out and find it in other places?  Is the fact that you aren't happy when you don't have this sort of background and love somewhere, if not near you, natures' way of telling you that you are missing something.  Sort of like hunger is a cue to eat?  I could see us having cue's like that but then i would wonder what would be the evolutionary point of needing things like that?  Could it be, that we are imbued with this need, so that we will better be able to be taken care of?  If you think about it, this love would keep the parents caring for their children longer, keeping them safe until they are of an age to procreate and thus keep the line going.  And if the children, evolutionary speaking have the same feelings about the parents then they are less likely to leave home before they are actually ready for it.  Still keeping them safe and secure.  

   This continues to make sense in the love replacement arena.  You have to admit that while genes are really cool and stuff they aren't all knowing and smart.  We are given the need to love and when we don't love, like we are supposed to, we quest after it.  We can't be fulfilled without it.  Or rather your body and mind will always know that something is missing.

   So are those people who do not find it, are they doomed?  I wonder.  I don't really know.  It struck me as odd when i started this perplection.  I am not an unhappy person, i don't know if i ever have been.  I wonder now, if sometimes, before i had found someone to care this deeply about that it was all a facade.  But you know, it all feels the same.  Except of course being in love, i am not in love, but that is a different thing, for a different time. But, think on this, do you wonder if sometimes when you are questing for love with a person and when you find a person, but it just doesn't feel right, that maybe then you were actually looking for the other love, the familial love.  And if you had found that, that your in love love would have felt right.  It just goes to show you, if you are fucked up, stay alone.