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Stuff
On Top
May 15, 2002 - 9 p.m.
So sunday was a different day, and yet it
was kind of the same. It still fit in with the stream of
consciousness that marked saturday, only different because it included
different people.
I started much different, my friend S was on his way home, so
instead of dragging me off to a British Columbian New Jersey, today, he
said goodbye, and became the first of 7 people that day that would
remind me to call my mother. It being mother's day and all.
Of course, i had done my duty the weekend before so any phone call would
just be considered bonus son-ship anyways.
After S left i did something that is rather common for me on sunday
mornings, i lounged about in a state of undress, reading, 'mailin,'
watching the tube and etc. I might very well have whiled away the
entire day doing this if it weren't for the fact that a friend of mine
called me up and told me to come and have lunch with her. Always
being a good little boy, who is very afraid of being told that i suck, i
went for lunch. After some fun time paling around, she left me all
alone, and i, instead of going out into the warm sunshine returned to
the activity that had filled out my morning.
such a wonderful activity it is too. couch. lying. relaxing. it was
hours later, when my friend called, intent upon doing something.
anything. just something, not in the home. do you have any idea
how hard it can be to come up with something to do that two people can
agree on and would be happy to do on a sunday afternoon? here are
some of the things we cycled through over the course of an hour, 3 phone
calls, advice from at least 4 other people and wracking our own poor
brains almost to the point of pain; bowling, lawn bowling, movies,
shopping, art gallery wandering, walking, playing soccer, dancing, strip
clubs, video game clubs, dinner, darts....um...and more. only...we
couldn't come up with anything, finally we settled on dinner and a
movie, in spite of the fact that we didn't really want to go out to eat
and there were no movies playing that we both wanted to see.
in fact it was our dejection at our inability to find something to
do that drove us to seeing 'the
new guy.' dinner was charming, even though we only went to earls,
but charming mostly because our beautiful server kept smiling at us.
you know, there is just something that makes the world a glorious place
when a beautiful woman smiles at you. the conversation was rather,
um, whimsical...i think this was likely fuelled by the amount of
silliness that must enter in a conversation when it enters into its
second hour of trying to figure out something to do.
oddly enough, the movie ended up
being funny. really, quite funny. strange that. so we come out
of the movie shortly before nine o'clock on a sunday night and B asks me what we
are going to do now. this had all the pangs of the earlier conversation
pushed forward in time. i didn't have a good answer for him, and he drove
toward my home. only when he got to my home, instead of stopping, he kept
going and going, and going. he could not answer me when i asked what we
were doing.
so eventually, after we drove for a while, i suggested that we go
to a friend's house and see if he was home and willing to play games. our
new thrill, was to drive up, park in front of peoples' windows who would not be
expecting us and call them. no really, this is a fun game. you know,
on a sunday night when you can think of what to do.
the first couple of times we did this, it was a bust. at one
point there was someone home, but she wasn't going to play games with is, and
her partner, who would have, wasn't home. so she looked charmingly at us out the
window, waved, smiled and said, 'buzz off.' which we did.
i don't know for sure what started
us on the idea of a kidnapping but all of a sudden this was our next idea.
we went to the house of another friend and parked outside of his window.
we called him 3 times. no answer, but his lights were on. our idea
was to get him to come downstairs and see us, throw him in the car and take him
to Langley, for ice cream. Langley being a 40 minute drive, out of the
city, would have been rather a shock to him, i think.
Since he wasn't answering the phone...we tried the door. He
answered the buzzer, and my bladder changed the plan on the fly for us. I
made him let us up, so that i could go to the bathroom (you know, an integral
part of every kidnapping, using the victim's bathroom). While in the
bathroom, it was B's job to convince G that he would come with us. You
know a cordial kidnapping.
We did convince him to go with us, in spite of the assignment he
had due the next morning at 9 a.m. You know, though, B was not very good
at his job. Somehow, in his convincing G, we ended up having to promise
that we would not take him to, Hope, Chilliwack, Langley, Fort Langley, White
Rock, Surrey, pretty much everywhere that we could take him and dump his body
(yes, alive) where it would be far, far away. We also had to promise it
would only take 45 minutes.
We knew a nice dairy queen over in West Vancouver, a short, 20
minute drive, so we would go there. As we pull away from his home, and we
drive by the dairy queen that's only 4 blocks away, he asks us if we could go
there. Being good kidnappers we say no. As we were on our way through
town, we realized two things. One, that one kidnapee was never enough, after
all, what if he got lonely and two, that although we were told to buzz off when
we asked about games by the luscious S, if we mentioned ice cream she was sure
to allow for a kidnapping.
And indeed she did. This time as we sat outside her window
and said we would buy her ice cream if she would come with us, she put on
clothes and came out to our kidnapmocivic quite willingly. we did, though,
hustle her into the car and drive away peeling the tires (ok, ok, it is a civic,
we whirred the engine). We thought we had seen her partner drive by and we
did not think that he would be willing to let her go. killjoy.
Imagine our chagrin when we found out both that it was not her
partner coming home and that she had called to tell him that she was being
kidnapped. At this point, we were feeling pretty high with ourselves,
after all we had kidnapped two people. A few moments later, when her
partner phoned to tell us he would like to join the ice cream searching caravan,
we told him that he had to kidnap his own person and then he had to join.
he did, he kidnapped B's wife. a VERY begrudging kidnap i must say. what
is it about sunday evenings, and people being in their PJ's that makes it hard
for them to come out and play? oh, i guess that's a no-brainer.
so we forge ahead, to get to the dairy queen before our friends and
scope out the ice cream. at 9:58 on a sunday evening, we arrive at Dairy Queen
to find it closing. Well, locked already. Not to mention, when i rattled
the door, the 3 big, strapping lads, only looked afraid and unsure what i was
going to do. Of course, they were also useless when i asked where we could
go for open icecream.
We NEEDED ice cream, not just for our stomachs...which had long ago
decided we were just teasing in the first place, but now we had two kidnapees in
the back seat, getting hungrier every second, not to mention a grumpy just out
of her jammies person following us, trying to catch us. So we started
combing the north shore. guess what...the north shore of Vancouver...has
no open ice cream after 10 p.m. on sundays.
shortly before 11, we pulled up to a wendy's...that was open. and thankfully,
served frosties, which are made of ice cream, or something very close. we all
partook. we all smiled. we all wished we had real ice cream.
we were all happy when we got home, half an hour later. i won't even
mention the fight that everyone had to try and get into the car not driven by
the evil kidnappers, oh wait, that was me.
it was a LOT of fun, in my opinion.
however, there are a few people who are getting call display and NOT answering
the phone when it is myself calling on sundays.
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