This was an email i sent today.

I Am happy today.
Not just content.
Not just normal.
Happy.
I don't know why.

Last night, I had a nap for about 2 hours (missing your hubbies rare invitation to a movie).
When I woke up I spent some time reading/fiddling with my new mp3 player, ripping songs (moving from cd to mp3) and then went to bed to read.

I finally turned my light off at 2.  not particularly tired, but you know, responsible.
Of course it was pretty warm, but when I nudged my curtain to the side and had my fan blow directly at me I even shivered a little.  Of course 2 a.m. air, blown at a naked, sweaty body should make it shiver I think.

Then I proceeded, instead of falling directly and soundly asleep, to fall into a half-dazed half-sleep.  And proceeded to have what I can only describe as a series of short horrific nightmarish type dreams.  This was rather interesting. I would wake up after each one and half-aware I would shift my position to get somewhere else cool and go back to half-doze (lot's of things should be done by half I think).  Even though I don't remember what any one of the dreams were, I know they were horrific because at one of the points where I was more awake I can remember quite clearly thinking, 'these dreams are kind of horrible' and then being happy about this and going back to sleep.  As you are well aware I don't have nightmares often, if ever, and am the kind of freak that does like them when they occur.  So this was kind of cool.  And disturbing. I was always quite disturbed each time I would wake up. They weren't axe wielding, terror stricken dreams, they were more high stress, bad things that could happen in my life at any time sorts of dreams.  Eventually, after a while I drifted off to sleep.

This morning I woke having a wonderful dream.  It is not so clear anymore but the basis was that I was on some sort of cruise on the ocean.  There was a daytrip to go and see an island. The island was a big, luscious green valley with a palace and and lake at the bottom.  We had a guide who was showing us the palace and this lake with a beautiful barge/boat floating in the middle.  Then the guide warned us that a storm was coming and that we had to be careful because it usually ended up in flooding the valley.  We looked up at the high sides and wondered what he was talking about, how could the water get in.  So he took us up the side of the valley to stand at the top.  As it turned out, the top of the walls of the valley were only just over sea level.  So in effect the valley was a hole in the ocean, with a small rim of land keeping the water out.  As we stood there we looked out and could see in a big bay a couple of fishing boats and a large pleasure cruiser. The cruiser was peacock blue and white.  As we watched rain and storm came up and the water got rough.  The guide told us we were safe, on a part of the rim that was a bit higher than the rest of it, and we got wet as we watched the waters grow in anger and motion.  It didn't take long before we could see the waters pouring over the edge of the rim into the bottom of the valley, and in fact it began to fill with water.  Flooding indeed. Things got rougher and rougher until the fishing boats were in quite a bit of distress and looking back the boat in the lake was rising considerably but also being quite rocked.  Things were so rough, although we were still ok, watching, that the blue pleasure cruiser was somehow vaulted directly over our heads into the valley.  It was like this huge, slow-moving, whale, lumbering through the air as it sailed over us. And then again, it was so rough inside that it came back over.  One final time it came over, back to the valley, this time serenely flipping end for end on its way through the air. I remember thinking about how beautiful it was, flying through the air, without a sound, even as I knew that it was without a doubt destroying the cruiser.

Then I woke up.
And was happy.

What do you know.

This will likely end up being a lot of a journal entry.
Oh well.

=-=-=-=-

and as you can see, it did.
it's been quite hot here of late. disturbingly so almost, but you know, we really don't have that very often.  at all. ever. so, we should just accept and revel in it. and i do. for the most part.

pottery class.  we are now half way through the course.  it is a lot of fun, and terribly infuriating.  i am just not patient enough. and there isn't enough time to really get into it and feel comfortable and get better. i guess i could go and try some extra time, maybe.
how disheartening is it if every class you manage to make something that you think is pretty but with the knowledge that the next time you come in you are likely just going to ruin it in the next stage?  or maybe aren't going to be able to produce anything at all?
on the other hand, by just holding your hands in one specific way, you can take mud, spinning, slimey mud and sculpt it almost as if by magic into a bowl, or run, or vase.
so cool. so incredibly cool. if you have not, try it.

i have a headache.
i'm going away.