Stuff On Top

Mar 14, 2002 -  8 p.m. 

 

Here i sit, wondering if anyone has died from the thing which i said was a recipe, which you assumed was a recipe, which you might have used to make a cake.  Well...as it was most like a cake...i am sure that you are all ok so i will not worry about it too much. (please...do not accuse me of maniacal laugher.  please, really.)

   Ok. so i'm in a strange mood. It is thursday night, it is 20 past 8, for all intents an purposes, being a relatively normal person in north american, possessing a TV and normal TV watching habits i should be watching it. I am not.  i am sitting in my beautiful home, with all of the lights off, unless you count the, 1...2... ... 8 candles i currently have burning.  Listening to music. typing a letter to you folks.  And after i am done that i will likely type another to another.   And perhaps after that another.

   My mood is avoiding description i find. and I am not sure why it is avoiding description either.  it's almost melancholy but not in a sad way. it's almost happy but not in a smiley way.  it's practically thoughtful but without the thought.  You see where i am having trouble here?  yeah, i thought you might.  do you have any other words that i can play with to try and determine what is going on with my mood?

   So...the girl.  You might want an update mightent you?  Well, ok, that i can do.

    Hmmmm...i was about to relate to you the story of our first kiss but i think i might have to get permission for that first....it might be a private special memory. hmmm... I was just thinking about whether or not i would chat tonight about the challenges of being in a relationship with someone that is reading your journal on a regular basis.  and then i decided that if you read journals a lot, as most people that read them even a little are wont to do, then you will hear that all the time.  I guess it is possible that i have something interesting and fresh to say about it...but even so, in that case i am still going to keep it to myself, which will keep it fresh and new.  At least in my mind.

   Ok, i am probably insane (of course i digress, it's the way that my mind is working tonight, but not exactly).  In two months time (or thereabouts) i am going to do something rather amazingly stupid. I am going to go on the great walk. (yikes that's an awful colour)  For those of you too imposed to press that link...the great walk is a walk from Gold River to Tahsis, on Vancouver island.  This is a small walk, only 63.5 km long, to be done in one day.  In fact you start walking at 4 a.m. and if you are still on the road at 8 p.m. they run you down like the slow poke that you are.
   Don't ask me why i am doing this.  A smart person might guess it was because the new girl is doing and that she is all gung ho into it.  This is not the case. i wouldn't' do something like that, at least i like to think i wouldn't.  I think i am doing it just to prove to myself that i can do such a thing. 
   I haven't registered yet, but i plan to very soon, and when i do...oh baby.  Ummm, i don't know what oh baby, but something.

   speaking of babies...on tuesday i became an uncle again. my sister-in-law dropped another one...this time 35 minutes after arrival at the hospital (i am in awe of this).  i am kind of thrilled about it. i don't really know why though.
   it's cool though.  and i am going to head to calgary over easter and see her. and her. and possibly even my brother.
   i remember the first time i was an uncle...it was kind of an odd thing, kind of a thing i wasn't ready for. something that i didn't think was right.  but now, i think it is very cool and i very much like the feeling.
   speaking of which...if i want to keep up with my brother and have a child before i am thirty...i have 8 more days left. which means i had to have had sex 9 months ago.  well given that as far as i am aware i didn't have sex at all in the month of july last year...i guess i will be falling behind here.

   so...yeah....the girl.
mmmmmmm. yah.
the girl.
what to say about the girl. 
we talk, in some way or another multiple times each and every day.  i can't seem to get enough.
   unlike other times that i have formed relationships...this one has been slowly growing to something really cool and interesting. and i like that. i like this growth thing. i like not knowing what i am goig to feel the next day. i like thinking, if it was anything like yesterday and the day before...that i am going to like her even more tomorrow. i like the thrill that this gives me.
   I like the thrill that hearing her voice for the first time in a day can give me. i like even more getting an even better thrill if i get to talk to her again that day. 
   i like the image i get in my mind of the way her eyes smile as her entire face lights up just seconds before she is going to laugh.
   yeah...so things are going nicely thank you very much.

   ummmmm. yeah...my moood now has me listening to a ministry CD.  something are stranger than others. the brain is, after all, a horrible thing to taste.

GO SEE MEN WITH BROOMS.  GO NOW. IF YOU HAVE TO FORSAKE YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S DEATH BED. JUST GO.

GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO