love is a many splendoured thing.
love...twue....love....

ok. there is an entry here, somewhere.
The other night a friend asked me the question, 'have you have been told that someone loves you, by someone other than your parents?'
   Right away i had a fast answer of yes.  I can remember at least 2 relationships where it has happened.  When i said this, she said that that was not what she meant, she wanted to know if i had had that said to me from someone in a non-romantic way. 
   This made me think a little more.  Not because i couldn't think of anyone who has said that to me, right away one friend came to mind who does say it almost as often as i say it to her.  but because i realized that it is a good question.  As much as i thought about it, i couldn't think right away of anyone else that i had exchanged those words with.
   Well, this isn't exactly true i have, in the past said the words, '_____ I love you man.' to more than one of my male friends.  however, there was nothing about this exchange that was not over-dramatized and over-emphasized such that there was absolutely no need to take it seriously.  Nor was there any ability to know if it was really meant, or what it meant or what it entailed.  And what did you really care. 
   When you think about it, you don't' need to hear things like that from your friends.  You know your friends care for you by their actions, by their words, by the way the treat you and by the way they are there for you when you need them.  They say things like, 'you really get to know who your friends are when...' indicating that you may be wrong in your perceptions of which people really love you.  But when you think about it, would their saying they love you make it that much better?  I mean, they could say it and not mean it, i mean i have said it and not meant it, although not to a friend.  Or, they could say it and mean it and then when the chips were down and they didn't come through, it wasn't because they didn't love you. 
   I mean there are any number of reasons that a friend might not come through for you. For one they could just be a flake, can a flake still not love? If you prick them do they not bleed?  If you stick them in a blender do they not whir around in a very beguiling way until they are friend juice?  So anyways, as all these thoughts were going through my head, i was thinking to myself, being the cynic that i am, that it didn't matter if my friends said it or not.  Either way i knew they are my friend and will be until they do something to prove that they are not, and most likely not even then will i stop them from being my friend.  Although, i do have another friend that we reassure each other a lot about how much we enjoy each other's company and how much we like spending time with each other.   Some sort of strange co-dependency there.
   And then she said it.  She told me that she loves me. It was nice to hear, but i didn't really think much about it.  You know, no big impact on my life.  But you know what...i stayed up for about 4 or 5 hours after that and i found myself, sort of glowing and warm and sort of happy.  it certainly wasn't because of the sense of world peace around me, it was the words.

   maybe they are important. maybe they can be necessary to hear every now and again.  maybe it's just as important to hear them from your friends as from your lover.  so, tell someone you lo......hold on, it just became a commercial there.  rather, i'd just like to say that it was an interesting effect.

i would also like to say that while i don't love all of you out there, i certainly do love some, you likely know who you are.  and if you think you are, but really aren't, i am pretty sure there are no negatives in making that sort of mistake either.
 

   I have had a great weekend. I cooked for some friends. i had lunch with some friends.  i had a friend cook for me.  i power shopped like a maniac with a person i adore spending time with.  (of course, that reassurance was wasted as she only reads this when i tell her too.)
and now, it is time for sleep, for tomorrow is monday and an all new week.