I had a
very good weekend, as you might guess from the above.
Friday night was a treat. As has become standard for me, where i
might be anywhere doing anything any night of the week, friday nights,
more often than not, i end up at home alone. I don't' really know
how things work out that way, they just seem to. It isnt' even
something i have a problem with, i kind of like it.
Well this friday, on my way home, i stopped in and watched a
movie. It being bad movie friday, and since i had not watched a
bad movie in a while, i went all out and chose to go to
Corky Romano.
Sometimes i forget what an ethereal wonderful experience going to to
movies alone is for me. I mean it, there is something about
sitting in a theatre all alone, watching on my own that films me with a
sense of calm bewonderment. It centers me, makes me more at ease
with myself. I have no choice but to walk from such a movie
content and happy. Now, i grant you that this movie wasn't very
good but that doesn't seem to matter.
I don't know how i forget such things either. It seems that
the first thing i do when i want to see a movie is look for other people
to see it with. It is not until i haven't been able to find anyone
that i choose to go alone. When alone is often the best way for me
to have gone. Strange. I shall try to remember better.
Saturday
was the day of the Halloween party. I walked into the day knowing what i
was going to be but not having any of my costume ready. I was going to go
as a bearded lady. I had make up lined up, a wig and all i needed was,
well, everything it would take to be a lady.
My first stop was the thrift shop down the street. I was
calmly flipping through the dresses on the rack when this woman shoves this
dress in front of my face. Have you ever been in a bathroom and had the
shower curtain make you think that floral patterns should be outlawed?
Well this dress is the one that gave them the idea. Gaudy green, blue and
purple floral print with a gauzy outer and a lime green backing. Did i
mention it was sleeveless? It was perfect. If only it had fit.
Well, a little, um, mostly strength of arm, alteration and it did. Of
course, it started with my needing someone to help me zip up, when i finished it
was a backless dress and it fit. With this dress alone i would be a
vision.
But then, well, things happened, i got the help of a few very cruel
minded thrift store staff and before long i also had a pair of the ugliest,
huge, dangly earrings and a giant faux pearl choker. Not to mention my
darling brilliant white handbag.
So this, along with some deep scarlet nails, finger and toe, an
auburn wig and some tasteful but thick makeup and a lady i was. And the
costume went over quite well. Hold on, looks of shock and wincing is the
same as going over quite well right?
Anyways the party was a lot of fun and i enjoyed myself royally.
I
didn't get home until quite late and woke up rather late with the scariest face
you have ever seen. Why didn't anyone mention to me as the party came to a
close that i should wash my face before i went to bed? (yes, this scared
me oven more than the sight of my hands on my penis). After washing my
face i decided i would go out to a movie. And then i looked at my nails.
They were bright red. I dithered for a while and actually sent this to
someone:
Hey you know it’s kind of
weird.
I’m thinking about going to a movie later, and I am telling myself that I
shouldn’t take the colour off my nails. And the idea is hard.
Only why would it be hard?
It’s just colour.
So then I get intrigued by
the notion that there some sort of societal construct that is strong enough to
make me not want to have finger nail polish on in public.
Of course part of me is
excited by the notion as well. And I am not sure what is causing that either.
Maybe it is the taboo. Maybe it is the attention. Hell, maybe I’m a cross
dresser at heart and not aware of it.
In the end i did go out with my nails like
that. I went downtown, went to a movie, then to a friends and then another
movie. I was wigged out a lot by my nails. I found that when i
wasn't thinking about it, i would inadvertently try to hide them. In the
end it was a very fun day, filled with numerous highs and intrigues and yet, it
was a much bigger deal in my mind than anyone else's. Although, at the end
of the night, receiving the first unsolicited comment on my nails, from the
parking attendant, i beamed for blocks as we drove home.
I cleaned off my fingers before i left for work
in the morning. i haven't cleaned off my toes yet. i get a huge
thrill out of knowing the looks that i would get. at the same time, as i
change for the gym each day, i am terrified that someone will see them.
Go figure.
