I am a freak. 
I know, I know, not news to any of you people out there in reader-land but I just thought I would give you a treat and something to add to the little pile of evidence.

    Do you want to know one of the things in this world that gives me a little thrill (if the answer to this obviously rhetorical question is no, you can just take a short hike please).  Yesterday I gave blood.  It is something that I try to do as often as I am allowed.  By this, I guess I would mean every 56 days, or roughly six times a year.  I think what I manage is 3 times a year but you do what you can, know what I mean.   

   Anyways, the thrill is definitely not the feeling of that huge stainless steel shaft entering my arm to drain the fluid of my life out of my body.  It is also not the feeling of joy that I get from being such a nice guy to be donating my life’s blood (how redundant is it to call your blood, your life’s blood?) to be possibly used to save some life.  It is not even the little guilty pleasure I get out of having the second glass of free juice laced with sugar. 

   No, my thrill comes from the attendant exclaiming, ‘oh, done already?’  I get some weird sort of thrill out of being a guy how donates blood at lightning speeds.  And I do, I pump really quickly.  I get a thrill out of sitting down on the bed and getting up again quite a while before people who have sat down before me.  The last time I went, I think I mentioned before I started pumping that I was a fast pumper, thus taking away any thrill of their saying it.  I mean I would have had to be a rocket pumper in order to get a comment out of them after warning them this way.

  Yesterday, I got an extra thrill. I didn’t mention that I was a fast pumper and a wandering attendant (I don’t know where mine was) walking by looked down at my blood sack and got this shocked look on her face.  Apparently I was almost done.  She looked at my clock (to see if my actual attendant was neglecting me) to see how long I had been pumping and apparently this added to the shock.  She exclaimed, ‘wow, you’re almost done.’ 

   Thrill.  Yeah. I’m a freak.  Sue me.

   This past week was really weird, really quite weird.  To start off with I was kind of emotional all week.   The week was filled with little ups and downs and my feelings tended to be kind of fragile.  Being as how I am normally not used to any sort of emotional sway this was quite different for me.  That in itself made for quite an interesting week.  I pretty much had what one might term mood swings.  One might if one was normal and had had such a thing before. I had to do some experimentation to arrive at such a conclusion.

Do I know what it is that left me in such a state?  Well, it is part of the natural progression of the process that I am going through to become a more feeling and caring being.  As part of that I am becoming more open and needy.  Only in the past few weeks I have been missing the part where I get to be open and needy.  Oddly enough I have appeared to have grown a dependence upon this sort of thing.  When it isn’t around I miss it.  It left me vulnerable.  In the end, I guess that this is growth right?

   On top of all of this, I have been quite creative.  Writing up a storm.  And not just writing, but writing for me.  Writing things that I want to, without any thought of where they might be published.  A lot of the things I write, I write because I know where the market for them might be.  I have an idea of who might want to publish it.  Yesterday I was sitting in the vancouver art gallery link and I chose to sit for a little while and just think (something not uncommon for me at all, it’s why I have a membership, after all).  As I was sitting a need to write a bit of prose came over me.  So I wrote it.  Then I went to a movie.  When I came home from the movie, I sat down to transcribe the piece of prose.  I liked it.  As I was proofing it, I started reading it aloud.  I grew to like this. In fact, I liked this so much I decided to record it.
   Let’s just say that I really wasn’t set up for recording but 4 downloads and 38 takes later, I had an MP3 of this prose.   Never done that before.  I am also quite happy with the end product.

Ah well.  Sunday, it is.  We like Sundays. Especially ones with chocolate sauce.